Are humans designed to be boring? I don’t think so. But for some reason there are certain people hell-bent on making and keeping us that way. Start with religious rules and…actually…end with them too because those are what are used to influence civil rights and laws. They’re also what have worked their way into jurisdiction of the media with “decency” codes.
There was a short time however, when even “the church” opened its collective mind when it came to art. The Renaissance was a glorious time when the human body was depicted in all its naked glory, when minstrels wrote and performed bawdy love songs and plays were filled with bright costumes and beautiful words. Admitted women were not allowed on the stage or in the pulpit but they still adorned themselves in fabulous garments and danced with equally graceful and stunningly clad men. Art was not boring.
Last night America again showed how much fear there is of “breaking the rules”. Really? Aren’t we programmed to take risks, push the envelope? Look at the Goddess’s creation, filled with bright colors, bird that soar high and luxuriously furred quadrupeds. Mother Nature’s music is a cacophony of chirps, screams, howls and barks. Nothing boring there. So why have we allowed religion to take that out of spiritual writings and replace it with this austere, domineering, and judgmental deity with no spirit of adventure, beauty or curiosity?
No people, if The Fates had wanted us to listen to boring balladeers for all of our existence on this plain, no one would be born with the talent to dazzle the eye, ear, heart and brain like Michael Jackson, David Bowie, Madonna, Christina Aguilera, or even Motley Crue. It should not have been a risk for any of them to create the art they have. It should not have been considered risqué to view their performances. Life should be exciting not boring.
I do not understand how we have come to romanticize war, murder or other forms of physical violence. How did these become acceptable risks? Yet we run from art that is considered even the littlest bit edgy. Art tribes/communities are looked on by outsiders as odd, weird, hopefully go unnoticed and disappear. Yet people will pay money over and over for movies still being made about World War II, Korea and Vietnam. Gore can run deep and wide on the screen but a glimpse of breast or upper thigh is gasped at. People, the human body is far more beautiful all in one piece than ripped apart on a battlefield or in a dark alley.
Where did we lose our way? How do we find it again? When will beauty and creativity be exonerated, worshipped and encouraged again? When will minstrels, actors, painters, sculptors, writers, etc. be allowed out from under their rocks and appreciated in all their weird eccentricness?
Showing posts with label church. Show all posts
Showing posts with label church. Show all posts
Thursday, September 16, 2010
Monday, November 16, 2009
The face (and heart) of my friend Rev. Matt
I've asked my friend Rev. Matt McCaffrey to guest blog for me today. Knowing that the congregation he is currently shepherding has taken "Open & Affirming" to a new level, I know he is someone who can give you some real life insight into agape...unconditional love.
MamaKath asked me to meditate on what it’s like to be part of a Christian church that “goes beyond doing just the LGBT thing.” This guest entry reflects my meditations.
About me: I am an ordained minister in the United Church of Christ (here in New England, mostly the white-steeple churches on every town green), and have been since 1988. I specialize in transitional ministry, serving churches where the settled pastor has left for a new call or retired (or sometimes worse), and helping them reclaim who they are while they seek new leadership. Since 1993 I’ve served nine congregations in different roles, and my state “conference” as minister of communication.
Being with a church during change is sometimes challenging, but it’s also cool because people know I’m not staying. That gives us freedom to try out new things and push some boundaries where they need to be pushed. I’ve found that, above all, people in the churches I serve are looking for love and reassurance that God accepts them. It’s my job to remember that.
I’ve been at Mansfield Center for about a year. UCC churches decide individually on…well, just about everything…but particularly on the kinds of faith stances they will take. This church declared itself “Open and Affirming” in 1991. Then and now, the ONA stance is understood by UCC churches to mean that LGBT folks are welcomed equally with everyone else who walks through the doors and participates in the church’s life and ministry. Churches who go through the ONA process and vote on it are very conscious about that meaning; maybe even self-conscious. Things change over time, though. At some point Mansfield Center had a “Duh” moment, realizing that “Open and Affirming” meant something bigger than sexual orientation. Without detracting from the huge “chromosome barrier” that has kept so many loving people down, hidden, or away from church altogether, there are other barriers that are swept away by this statement: poverty, politics, physical ability, mental health, language.
When I started journeying with this church last October, I found that old and young were welcome. So were people with autism whose behavior would get them quietly excluded from many congregations. So is a family from Iraq, whose patriarch served as a translator for U.S. troops and therefore was living in constant danger along with his wife and seven children. This summer, the congregation agreed to sponsor them and they now worship with us regularly—bringing an Muslim flavor to our practice even as they take on a Christian flavor in theirs.
The ONA idea, still feared by some as “political,” has evolved into an agape practice in this church—and it fits well with my own outlook about what Jesus was trying to teach. God so loved the world that in ultimate generosity we were given the most precious thing God had. The rules and fences that humanity erected around that gift would have frustrated Jesus himself! They reflect our own fears and need for control, not the spirit of the gift of love God gave us.
I asked MamaKath to ask me five questions, and I’d do my best to answer them. So, here’s her interview:
MK: When & how did you feel the call to at least attempt "agape" love?
MM: Probably before I’d heard the word or knew what it meant. Like many members of the United Church of Christ, I grew up in that other big brand-name hierarchical faith expression, and felt the call to be a priest when I was maybe 12 years old. A year or so later, hormones kicked in and I figured out why that call would be such a problem for me. (Hint: celibacy seems pretty unnatural to me.) It was my first experience of the conflict between God’s all-encompassing love and human attempts to “improve” it by putting restrictions on it.
MK: Do you see your ministry as an effort to lead others to practicing unconditional love?
MM: Without question. Many of the places where I’ve been called to transitional work have little tensions and resentments bubbling just under the surface. There are folks who would figuratively lay down their lives for the pastor who just left, and others who are saying under their breath (and sometimes out loud) “Good-bye, and don’t let the door hit your butt on the way out.” They hope the interim pastor (me) is going to do a “clean sweep” and get the “right people” into positions of influence. Hah! The kind of clean sweep I try to model is an inclusive one: clearing out the relationship clutter to make it possible for the right people and the other right people to be at the same table and talking again. I have taken my lumps from antagonistic people who are mad because I don’t feel particularly called to kiss their butts, but I also find that naming things for what they are tends to make room for love, respect, and healing.
MK: What does the following mean to you: "Life isn't easy but it should be simple."
MM: Ah, the essay!
Fewer meetings and more encounters. Fewer agendas and more action. Fewer rules and more good behavior.
Look, we could spend the next hundred years (or until Hartford becomes a beachfront community, whichever comes first) culling the Bible and looking for proof that God is for or against “the queers,” “the cripples,” “the illegals,” or whoever else we choose to name. This is how the prejudices of ancient societies get carried forward into our day, and there are some people who say that “because you’re a minister, you have to uphold these things.”
Guess what? I don’t. I was ordained a minister of the Gospel, not a minister of the Bible. My vows do hold me to rigorous study of scripture, but that word “Gospel” is not synonymous with “Bible.” It means “Good News,” and that’s what it’s all about.
I’m not here to make life even more complicated for people whose lives are already fearsomely complicated by circumstances. I’m here to say that God loves each of us, no matter who we are, no matter where we are. I think that’s a pretty simple message. Pretty profound, too.
MK: What are some of the things your current congregation is doing to open eyes & hearts to God and each other?
MM: I have to start with their expanded view of what it means to be “open and affirming.” Not long after I arrived a couple of our Deacons (elected to help serve the congregation in worship) approached me and wanted to know how I felt about the autistic young adult whose random vocalizations are a big part of the atmosphere during worship. They were relieved when I said it was okay with me, as I figured he was expressing his appreciation of worship (and even the sermon!) in the best way available to him. They had made the decision some time ago that he was welcome, and had met with some resistance from members of the congregation who were afraid it would offend the pastor!
I would say it’s not so much specific things the congregation is doing, so much as the way in which the congregation approaches its work. When the Supreme Court of Connecticut announced its decision to affirm same-gender marriages last October, my first thought was to consult with the church leadership about whether changes in church policy were needed now to take the possibility of performing a same-gender marriage into account. Their response was: We adopted the open and affirming stance, so what’s the problem?
Exactly.
MK: Is there a plan already in operation or on the drawing board to take this agape attitude beyond the congregation and into the surrounding communities? Do you feel that "putting a face on it" needs to part of the process?
MM: Fareed and his family are the best example of that right now. While we have adopted the role of “church family” for them, resettling them in northeastern Connecticut has been a huge and expensive undertaking. We had a community fundraising festival for them this past summer that was intentionally put into the community’s lap. (Lots of great music, by the way!) We have brought other churches, community groups, and businesses into the mix. Yesterday we learned that a local auto dealer had donated a used and reconditioned minivan to the family, and one of the other churches in the area agreed to pay for insurance so the van could be registered and driven. Fareed and his family brought a cake for fellowship time following worship; he told me that his wife called it a “birthday” cake. Why? For the “birth” of the minivan!
Another member of the church remarked on how pleasantly surprised he was that the family had been so well accepted into the church’s life and the community’s life. I’m not. Fareed, Fatima, and their beautiful children have put a compelling face on what it means to be Iraqi, and I think it has made an agape stance possible for people who would otherwise say “it’s impossible.”
[bio]
The Rev. Matt McCaffrey is an interim ministry specialist with the United Church of Christ, currently serving the First Church of Christ in Mansfield. He lives in Cheshire.
MamaKath asked me to meditate on what it’s like to be part of a Christian church that “goes beyond doing just the LGBT thing.” This guest entry reflects my meditations.
About me: I am an ordained minister in the United Church of Christ (here in New England, mostly the white-steeple churches on every town green), and have been since 1988. I specialize in transitional ministry, serving churches where the settled pastor has left for a new call or retired (or sometimes worse), and helping them reclaim who they are while they seek new leadership. Since 1993 I’ve served nine congregations in different roles, and my state “conference” as minister of communication.
Being with a church during change is sometimes challenging, but it’s also cool because people know I’m not staying. That gives us freedom to try out new things and push some boundaries where they need to be pushed. I’ve found that, above all, people in the churches I serve are looking for love and reassurance that God accepts them. It’s my job to remember that.
I’ve been at Mansfield Center for about a year. UCC churches decide individually on…well, just about everything…but particularly on the kinds of faith stances they will take. This church declared itself “Open and Affirming” in 1991. Then and now, the ONA stance is understood by UCC churches to mean that LGBT folks are welcomed equally with everyone else who walks through the doors and participates in the church’s life and ministry. Churches who go through the ONA process and vote on it are very conscious about that meaning; maybe even self-conscious. Things change over time, though. At some point Mansfield Center had a “Duh” moment, realizing that “Open and Affirming” meant something bigger than sexual orientation. Without detracting from the huge “chromosome barrier” that has kept so many loving people down, hidden, or away from church altogether, there are other barriers that are swept away by this statement: poverty, politics, physical ability, mental health, language.
When I started journeying with this church last October, I found that old and young were welcome. So were people with autism whose behavior would get them quietly excluded from many congregations. So is a family from Iraq, whose patriarch served as a translator for U.S. troops and therefore was living in constant danger along with his wife and seven children. This summer, the congregation agreed to sponsor them and they now worship with us regularly—bringing an Muslim flavor to our practice even as they take on a Christian flavor in theirs.
The ONA idea, still feared by some as “political,” has evolved into an agape practice in this church—and it fits well with my own outlook about what Jesus was trying to teach. God so loved the world that in ultimate generosity we were given the most precious thing God had. The rules and fences that humanity erected around that gift would have frustrated Jesus himself! They reflect our own fears and need for control, not the spirit of the gift of love God gave us.
I asked MamaKath to ask me five questions, and I’d do my best to answer them. So, here’s her interview:
MK: When & how did you feel the call to at least attempt "agape" love?
MM: Probably before I’d heard the word or knew what it meant. Like many members of the United Church of Christ, I grew up in that other big brand-name hierarchical faith expression, and felt the call to be a priest when I was maybe 12 years old. A year or so later, hormones kicked in and I figured out why that call would be such a problem for me. (Hint: celibacy seems pretty unnatural to me.) It was my first experience of the conflict between God’s all-encompassing love and human attempts to “improve” it by putting restrictions on it.
MK: Do you see your ministry as an effort to lead others to practicing unconditional love?
MM: Without question. Many of the places where I’ve been called to transitional work have little tensions and resentments bubbling just under the surface. There are folks who would figuratively lay down their lives for the pastor who just left, and others who are saying under their breath (and sometimes out loud) “Good-bye, and don’t let the door hit your butt on the way out.” They hope the interim pastor (me) is going to do a “clean sweep” and get the “right people” into positions of influence. Hah! The kind of clean sweep I try to model is an inclusive one: clearing out the relationship clutter to make it possible for the right people and the other right people to be at the same table and talking again. I have taken my lumps from antagonistic people who are mad because I don’t feel particularly called to kiss their butts, but I also find that naming things for what they are tends to make room for love, respect, and healing.
MK: What does the following mean to you: "Life isn't easy but it should be simple."
MM: Ah, the essay!
Fewer meetings and more encounters. Fewer agendas and more action. Fewer rules and more good behavior.
Look, we could spend the next hundred years (or until Hartford becomes a beachfront community, whichever comes first) culling the Bible and looking for proof that God is for or against “the queers,” “the cripples,” “the illegals,” or whoever else we choose to name. This is how the prejudices of ancient societies get carried forward into our day, and there are some people who say that “because you’re a minister, you have to uphold these things.”
Guess what? I don’t. I was ordained a minister of the Gospel, not a minister of the Bible. My vows do hold me to rigorous study of scripture, but that word “Gospel” is not synonymous with “Bible.” It means “Good News,” and that’s what it’s all about.
I’m not here to make life even more complicated for people whose lives are already fearsomely complicated by circumstances. I’m here to say that God loves each of us, no matter who we are, no matter where we are. I think that’s a pretty simple message. Pretty profound, too.
MK: What are some of the things your current congregation is doing to open eyes & hearts to God and each other?
MM: I have to start with their expanded view of what it means to be “open and affirming.” Not long after I arrived a couple of our Deacons (elected to help serve the congregation in worship) approached me and wanted to know how I felt about the autistic young adult whose random vocalizations are a big part of the atmosphere during worship. They were relieved when I said it was okay with me, as I figured he was expressing his appreciation of worship (and even the sermon!) in the best way available to him. They had made the decision some time ago that he was welcome, and had met with some resistance from members of the congregation who were afraid it would offend the pastor!
I would say it’s not so much specific things the congregation is doing, so much as the way in which the congregation approaches its work. When the Supreme Court of Connecticut announced its decision to affirm same-gender marriages last October, my first thought was to consult with the church leadership about whether changes in church policy were needed now to take the possibility of performing a same-gender marriage into account. Their response was: We adopted the open and affirming stance, so what’s the problem?
Exactly.
MK: Is there a plan already in operation or on the drawing board to take this agape attitude beyond the congregation and into the surrounding communities? Do you feel that "putting a face on it" needs to part of the process?
MM: Fareed and his family are the best example of that right now. While we have adopted the role of “church family” for them, resettling them in northeastern Connecticut has been a huge and expensive undertaking. We had a community fundraising festival for them this past summer
Another member of the church remarked on how pleasantly surprised he was that the family had been so well accepted into the church’s life and the community’s life. I’m not. Fareed, Fatima, and their beautiful children have put a compelling face on what it means to be Iraqi, and I think it has made an agape stance possible for people who would otherwise say “it’s impossible.”
[bio]
The Rev. Matt McCaffrey is an interim ministry specialist with the United Church of Christ, currently serving the First Church of Christ in Mansfield. He lives in Cheshire.
Saturday, November 7, 2009
The ritualistic intro post
So, besides music, MamaKath's brain and heart are full of a lot of other stuff. I thought about it and decided that these things warranted a separate blogoshere so as not to detract from my music ramblings and to provide a haven for those who were only interested in my thoughts, feelings, inspirations and affections in the political and spiritual realms.
The slogan for this blog came to me in an email discussion I had with a clergy acquaintence the other day after "Equality for Maine" was thwarted by a mere three precent of the population. He and I agreed that the church had failed where "the church" prevailed. The church has this book that talks about putting your neighbor above yourself and looking out for each other. It speaks of compassion, mercy, justice and humility. It tells you you will get your hands dirty if you're doing it right. "The Church" on the other hand preaches a tinier and tinier, selfish, bitchy, prejudice, dictator diety that is anything close to Divine, holy, sacred or benevolent. Their "god" doesn't like any of us and would prefer that we lock ourselves in our houses and cut ourselves off from any one that doesn't follow its doctrine. Their version "god" has rules...lots of rules about who is good enough and who you should take care of and how you can be better than all the other sheep and the diety will give you lots of money and you will live fat, dumb and happy all the days of your life. Now in this crazy faci-verse you can play up to a better ticket to the afterlife by supporting the impersonal annihilation of other humans while providing equally impersonal "help" to unknown faces across the seas in the form of checks. Your hands are squeaky clean with a nice thick coat of Purell on them.
But see the thing is, if you really wanna claim that you "know" Jesus...you need to go back and READ that book again. See he said "When I was naked you clothed me. When I was hungry you fed me. When I was sick you took care of me and when I was in prison your visited me. AND WHAT YOU DID FOR THE LEAST OF THESE YOU DID FOR ME". What the guy was saying; cuz back then there were no banks, no post offices and no PayPal, was that you had to get off your fat, lazy, fearful, arrogant ass and go help people. Don't pass off a fiver in the collection plate for some kid in Central America....go over to the Subway, buy a sandwich and bring it back to that 17-year-old runaway streetwalker you just passed while you were out shopping. Yeah, you're gonna have to look into those sad eyes and wonder what went down in her comfortable suburban home states away from where she ended up that caused her to run. She will give you a sad smile and say thank you. Your heart's gonna break a little more. For even the briefest of moments you will feel a little bit of love. You're not going to be afraid of her any more. You're not going to judge her in that instant. You're gonna see her as a fellow human who maybe had a dream, maybe still has that dream but right now she's just trying to stay alive. Trying to turn enough tricks to keep her pimp from beating her up and maybe have some place a little warmer than the street to sleep tonight. It's probably going to get to you enough that you're going to go home and say some real prayers starting with one for forgiveness for your laziness and stupidity. Then you're gonna pray for real help for that girl. And you never know...The Great Spirit's reply may be that you're the help. You're going to wake up with a need to do something. And if you listen carefully and watch the signs...that Truly Divine Being will point you to the sources of that girl's eventual "salvation" and I'm not talking getting her to some holy roller church where some guy who plays a preacher on TV lays hands on her and the congregation of hypocrits spends the rest of her life brain-washing and laying guilt trips on her. No I'm talking finding safe shelter, employment which provides food & clothing. Who knows, she might get her GED and even go to college. She may just end up the checker in your local grocery store or she may be destined to be the next Golda Meir or Madaleine Albright. But whether "peasant" or "noble" she will live not merely survive.
Put a face on it, people.
The slogan for this blog came to me in an email discussion I had with a clergy acquaintence the other day after "Equality for Maine" was thwarted by a mere three precent of the population. He and I agreed that the church had failed where "the church" prevailed. The church has this book that talks about putting your neighbor above yourself and looking out for each other. It speaks of compassion, mercy, justice and humility. It tells you you will get your hands dirty if you're doing it right. "The Church" on the other hand preaches a tinier and tinier, selfish, bitchy, prejudice, dictator diety that is anything close to Divine, holy, sacred or benevolent. Their "god" doesn't like any of us and would prefer that we lock ourselves in our houses and cut ourselves off from any one that doesn't follow its doctrine. Their version "god" has rules...lots of rules about who is good enough and who you should take care of and how you can be better than all the other sheep and the diety will give you lots of money and you will live fat, dumb and happy all the days of your life. Now in this crazy faci-verse you can play up to a better ticket to the afterlife by supporting the impersonal annihilation of other humans while providing equally impersonal "help" to unknown faces across the seas in the form of checks. Your hands are squeaky clean with a nice thick coat of Purell on them.
But see the thing is, if you really wanna claim that you "know" Jesus...you need to go back and READ that book again. See he said "When I was naked you clothed me. When I was hungry you fed me. When I was sick you took care of me and when I was in prison your visited me. AND WHAT YOU DID FOR THE LEAST OF THESE YOU DID FOR ME". What the guy was saying; cuz back then there were no banks, no post offices and no PayPal, was that you had to get off your fat, lazy, fearful, arrogant ass and go help people. Don't pass off a fiver in the collection plate for some kid in Central America....go over to the Subway, buy a sandwich and bring it back to that 17-year-old runaway streetwalker you just passed while you were out shopping. Yeah, you're gonna have to look into those sad eyes and wonder what went down in her comfortable suburban home states away from where she ended up that caused her to run. She will give you a sad smile and say thank you. Your heart's gonna break a little more. For even the briefest of moments you will feel a little bit of love. You're not going to be afraid of her any more. You're not going to judge her in that instant. You're gonna see her as a fellow human who maybe had a dream, maybe still has that dream but right now she's just trying to stay alive. Trying to turn enough tricks to keep her pimp from beating her up and maybe have some place a little warmer than the street to sleep tonight. It's probably going to get to you enough that you're going to go home and say some real prayers starting with one for forgiveness for your laziness and stupidity. Then you're gonna pray for real help for that girl. And you never know...The Great Spirit's reply may be that you're the help. You're going to wake up with a need to do something. And if you listen carefully and watch the signs...that Truly Divine Being will point you to the sources of that girl's eventual "salvation" and I'm not talking getting her to some holy roller church where some guy who plays a preacher on TV lays hands on her and the congregation of hypocrits spends the rest of her life brain-washing and laying guilt trips on her. No I'm talking finding safe shelter, employment which provides food & clothing. Who knows, she might get her GED and even go to college. She may just end up the checker in your local grocery store or she may be destined to be the next Golda Meir or Madaleine Albright. But whether "peasant" or "noble" she will live not merely survive.
Put a face on it, people.
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