Are humans designed to be boring? I don’t think so. But for some reason there are certain people hell-bent on making and keeping us that way. Start with religious rules and…actually…end with them too because those are what are used to influence civil rights and laws. They’re also what have worked their way into jurisdiction of the media with “decency” codes.
There was a short time however, when even “the church” opened its collective mind when it came to art. The Renaissance was a glorious time when the human body was depicted in all its naked glory, when minstrels wrote and performed bawdy love songs and plays were filled with bright costumes and beautiful words. Admitted women were not allowed on the stage or in the pulpit but they still adorned themselves in fabulous garments and danced with equally graceful and stunningly clad men. Art was not boring.
Last night America again showed how much fear there is of “breaking the rules”. Really? Aren’t we programmed to take risks, push the envelope? Look at the Goddess’s creation, filled with bright colors, bird that soar high and luxuriously furred quadrupeds. Mother Nature’s music is a cacophony of chirps, screams, howls and barks. Nothing boring there. So why have we allowed religion to take that out of spiritual writings and replace it with this austere, domineering, and judgmental deity with no spirit of adventure, beauty or curiosity?
No people, if The Fates had wanted us to listen to boring balladeers for all of our existence on this plain, no one would be born with the talent to dazzle the eye, ear, heart and brain like Michael Jackson, David Bowie, Madonna, Christina Aguilera, or even Motley Crue. It should not have been a risk for any of them to create the art they have. It should not have been considered risqué to view their performances. Life should be exciting not boring.
I do not understand how we have come to romanticize war, murder or other forms of physical violence. How did these become acceptable risks? Yet we run from art that is considered even the littlest bit edgy. Art tribes/communities are looked on by outsiders as odd, weird, hopefully go unnoticed and disappear. Yet people will pay money over and over for movies still being made about World War II, Korea and Vietnam. Gore can run deep and wide on the screen but a glimpse of breast or upper thigh is gasped at. People, the human body is far more beautiful all in one piece than ripped apart on a battlefield or in a dark alley.
Where did we lose our way? How do we find it again? When will beauty and creativity be exonerated, worshipped and encouraged again? When will minstrels, actors, painters, sculptors, writers, etc. be allowed out from under their rocks and appreciated in all their weird eccentricness?
Showing posts with label religion. Show all posts
Showing posts with label religion. Show all posts
Thursday, September 16, 2010
Saturday, March 13, 2010
Hey America! When did you forget how to laugh at yourself?
Dear America,
It hit me today the biggest thing wrong with this country right now...we've lost our ability to laugh at ourselves. As a nation, not myself personally or most of my friends, we've gotten really holier-than-thou. We think we are the shit as far as countries and governments go and that everyone should want to be like us. Really? I mean really?
As I have stated before and will go to my grave feeling, the hippies let me down. Unless the part of the under 40 crowd that has a sense of humor, conviction and open minds prevails we are doomed to have the time from 1964ish to the very early 80's go down in American history as a blip on the radar screen. I pray hard every day that the loud-mouthed, rainbow colored folks twenty years my junior are successful in not allowing things like Woodstock, Stonewall and Dr. King be forgotten.
Yes, there were a lot of very serious things that happened in the 60's and 70's...Vietnam, WATTS, the Mason murders, the gas squeeze, Watergate and the Kennedy assassinations. But those things drew us close and we poured out tons of new art like the whole rock music shift, Andy Warhol, Peter Maxx, Hair, Clockwork Orange, Kurt Vaunagut, etc. We also birthed amazing comedy inspired by our neighbors to the north (SCTV) and the Brits (Monty Python and Benny Hill). Saturday Night Live hit NBC and shocked us up but had us laughing insanely at our own stupidity. We saw the rise of people like Billy Crystal, Robin Williams and Whoopi. Political humor was biting and deep but Washington took it and for awhile still seemed to be fighting for us, just a little.
Things have become so incredibly boring and lack-luster in the country that owns half the world's wealth. Art is black and white photography and earth-mother pottery. Etsy and Ebay wreak of more of the same feathered barrettes and beaded jewelry. Books and screenplays are just rehash after re-hash. With the death of Crichton we are left with Dan Brown as far as exciting, well-researched adventure fiction. Tim Burton and Tarentino about the only current directors with an out-of-the-box vision. Scorsasi is amazing but how many more years will we have him? Besides he was a product of that 70's art explosion too. Fortunately he's been able to hold on despite the Academy's continuing snubs. Even some of the good ones eroded into cookie cutter bullshit, like Speilberg. Comedy has become nothing but a conglomeration of stupid site gags. People, Will Farrell is not clever. And the few great satirsts have to deal with five-year old politicians who go "You're picking on me. Say you're sorry." Really? That's why it's call political satire. You chose to be a legislator, you knew what came with the job and besides its only a bit more sarcastic way of the public demanding you to do the job you were elected to do.
As far as modern rock? The only American old regime that stays true to their tight black jeans, eye make-up and big hair is The Crue. Jon and Richie, Sebastian and Brett have left their spandex and Adorn behind for boring flannel and blue denim. :::yawn::: Yeah, Kiss still does their thing but Gene has gotten so arrogantly, irrelevant. Even he stopped laughing at himself.
So today I put a face on the majority of my own country. This face has furrows in its brow, scowl lines at the corners of its mouth, and cold eyes. I don't know what to do to bring back you sense of mirth. You really need to get over yourself. You're not that wonderful. You're far from perfect but that's ok. You're human. You don't have all the answers but you don't seem to be open to learning any new ones. You need to recoup your free spirits and stop with all these rules. The government and the church are not responsible for you, you are. There really is only one rule...treat people the way you want to be treated. If you don't like what's on TV...shut it off. If you don't like what's on the newstand...don't buy it. If you don't want your kids exposed to crap...throw out the computer or put passwords on it. Oh and while we're at it...be a PARENT!! But in that parenting...teach your kids to laugh...not at others who are different than them but at themselves. When they face their own frailties, suddenly others are something to become the butt of a joke.
LAUGH AMERICA...IT WILL MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER!!!
It hit me today the biggest thing wrong with this country right now...we've lost our ability to laugh at ourselves. As a nation, not myself personally or most of my friends, we've gotten really holier-than-thou. We think we are the shit as far as countries and governments go and that everyone should want to be like us. Really? I mean really?
As I have stated before and will go to my grave feeling, the hippies let me down. Unless the part of the under 40 crowd that has a sense of humor, conviction and open minds prevails we are doomed to have the time from 1964ish to the very early 80's go down in American history as a blip on the radar screen. I pray hard every day that the loud-mouthed, rainbow colored folks twenty years my junior are successful in not allowing things like Woodstock, Stonewall and Dr. King be forgotten.
Yes, there were a lot of very serious things that happened in the 60's and 70's...Vietnam, WATTS, the Mason murders, the gas squeeze, Watergate and the Kennedy assassinations. But those things drew us close and we poured out tons of new art like the whole rock music shift, Andy Warhol, Peter Maxx, Hair, Clockwork Orange, Kurt Vaunagut, etc. We also birthed amazing comedy inspired by our neighbors to the north (SCTV) and the Brits (Monty Python and Benny Hill). Saturday Night Live hit NBC and shocked us up but had us laughing insanely at our own stupidity. We saw the rise of people like Billy Crystal, Robin Williams and Whoopi. Political humor was biting and deep but Washington took it and for awhile still seemed to be fighting for us, just a little.
Things have become so incredibly boring and lack-luster in the country that owns half the world's wealth. Art is black and white photography and earth-mother pottery. Etsy and Ebay wreak of more of the same feathered barrettes and beaded jewelry. Books and screenplays are just rehash after re-hash. With the death of Crichton we are left with Dan Brown as far as exciting, well-researched adventure fiction. Tim Burton and Tarentino about the only current directors with an out-of-the-box vision. Scorsasi is amazing but how many more years will we have him? Besides he was a product of that 70's art explosion too. Fortunately he's been able to hold on despite the Academy's continuing snubs. Even some of the good ones eroded into cookie cutter bullshit, like Speilberg. Comedy has become nothing but a conglomeration of stupid site gags. People, Will Farrell is not clever. And the few great satirsts have to deal with five-year old politicians who go "You're picking on me. Say you're sorry." Really? That's why it's call political satire. You chose to be a legislator, you knew what came with the job and besides its only a bit more sarcastic way of the public demanding you to do the job you were elected to do.
As far as modern rock? The only American old regime that stays true to their tight black jeans, eye make-up and big hair is The Crue. Jon and Richie, Sebastian and Brett have left their spandex and Adorn behind for boring flannel and blue denim. :::yawn::: Yeah, Kiss still does their thing but Gene has gotten so arrogantly, irrelevant. Even he stopped laughing at himself.
So today I put a face on the majority of my own country. This face has furrows in its brow, scowl lines at the corners of its mouth, and cold eyes. I don't know what to do to bring back you sense of mirth. You really need to get over yourself. You're not that wonderful. You're far from perfect but that's ok. You're human. You don't have all the answers but you don't seem to be open to learning any new ones. You need to recoup your free spirits and stop with all these rules. The government and the church are not responsible for you, you are. There really is only one rule...treat people the way you want to be treated. If you don't like what's on TV...shut it off. If you don't like what's on the newstand...don't buy it. If you don't want your kids exposed to crap...throw out the computer or put passwords on it. Oh and while we're at it...be a PARENT!! But in that parenting...teach your kids to laugh...not at others who are different than them but at themselves. When they face their own frailties, suddenly others are something to become the butt of a joke.
LAUGH AMERICA...IT WILL MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER!!!
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Your argument is invalid - The NOH8 trial
Why are churches getting involved in the politics of civil rights? Gay "marriage" is a fight for government and legal recognition not a church ceremony. The LGBT community wants nothing more than the same tax breaks a heterosexual couple gets for having a "marriage license" on file at the local town hall along with job protection, health benefits and legal protection of their estates for their partners and children. There a millions of Americans who are "married" in civil ceremonies by justices of the peace. There is no religious value at all, just the sealing of the document they just signed that gives them governmental and legal sanction of their couplehood. Just like having an affidavit witnessed by an officer of the court. They ask all the requisite questions and you both sign the document and the notary seals it.
No branch of the U.S. government nor any state or local agency can mandate that a church perform a religious ceremony of any kind including weddings. They only require that clergy also be certified as Justices of the Peace so they can legally witness the marriage license. (see comment below-this is not necessarily a true fact. CT does not require JP status for clergy. Feel free to post your state's statutes on this. Thank you) It's very frustrating that Christians and Jews can not seem to differentiate between "marriage" and "wedding". I'm not sure what Muslims call their coupling ritual so I apologize for not including it.
Then to take it a step further. Religious groups want to bring this into a "family" realm by stating that same sex marriage destroys the American family. Really? If a child is raised in a loving household, has parents who make sure they are safely housed and sent to school every day and living within the law, what's the issue? How about deadbeat dads and men who have just abdicated as parents/bread winners? From personal experience I think they do more damage to families. And while we're casting stones, there are numerous Catholic organizations fighting gay "marriage" who are sitting back saying nothing about the pedophiles within their clergy. Don't you think that puts a far bigger strain on a family and children if parents protect the person who is molesting their kids? Just sayin' people. And as a single-parent I beg the court's indulgence by asking how is my situation any stronger family unit than a same-sex pair raising kids? Hey! They have the advantage of two incomes and the probability of one of them being physically and emotionally available to their children more often that I do.
So lets go back to same-sex marriage having a negative affect on heterosexual marriages. How? Because less LGBT's will hide in a straight marriage because of the social and psychological strain of living out? Or because they will show straight couples up with the longevity of their relationships. They don't have to wait for a major family issue to stress their relationship because they have a huge stress-factor going in...being LGBT people. They've already lived their lives before they were a couple with all the problems and stigma that come the fact of realizing they're not "normal". Then to make it a non-traditional coupling. Twice the stress. So they tend to do very good with the bumps and bruises that come with keeping a relationship vibrant and healthy. Many same-sex couples stay together for life and have a better track record of doing so than straights. And if they do split that is no reason for self-righteous straights to go "Oh look. See they are promiscuous" Bull shit!! What about your 14-year-old slut daughter you let out of the house in a mini-skirt and tank top that has more than one condom in her purse or your spouse whose had a mistress for the past ten years?
Which brings us to the family thing. First, I'll pick up from the last paragraph...straight does not equal good parents. Done! Second, straight parents can produce gay children. In fact most LGBT kids come out of heterosexual homes. As for same-sex couples only producing LGBT kids? Really? Come on. Really? If sexuality is genetic (which I do believe) any child of a gay or lesbian couple, has a parent of the opposite sex. Lesbians will have a sperm donor or will adopt. Gay men will have a surrogate mother or will adopt. The conceived children will have the genes of both its parents and their family history so even if the sperm donor or surrogate are also genetically identified as non-heterosexual that parent's parents and the member of the same-sex couple providing the sperm or egg may carry the heterosexual gene and based on historic figures, the resulting child is more apt to be bisexually or heterosexually identified than homosexually.
As far as socialization, just because a child is raised in a gay home doesn't mean they'll be gay. More likely just more healthily tolerant. Kids go to school. They know there are more kids from straight households or single-parent households than from homes like theirs with two moms or two dads. Of course with the current social climate they will be made to feel different, weird, etc. by fellow students, faculty and administration even though they shouldn't be. As for the two moms or two dads raising their kids to be LGBT? Trust me, not even gay parents wish that on their kids and the kids will experience it first hand before they go to school in the way that other people treat their parents. So for me...if anything a same-sex parented family is stronger, more tolerant, and has a better grasp on how the Divine wishes this world would work. Wanna play the "God card" religious people? Gay/Lesbian households are living closer to your scriptures than you are because they are not teaching their kids to build walls or barriers or create labels for other people. They're teaching them to forgive and understand and love people even in those people's ignorance.
To the witnesses in this trial...your argument is invalid. If run through simple tests of validity or just common sense, they don't hold water. So just stop wasting taxpayers money. Taxpayers? Leave your religious crap at the door when voting for legislatures. Providing any minority with the same freedoms you enjoy in "the land of the free" is just the right thing to do no matter what Higher Power you subscribe to. The LGBT community is not harming you. They are not robbing your house or burning it down. They are not stealing your stuff. They are not physically harming you or your children. Validating them and their rights does not mean they're going to try to "turn" your kids. Your children are in far more danger from pedophiles, rapists and kidnappers. No! Your kids are far more apt to get hit by a car or succumb to alcohol poisoning in an evening of underage drinking you sanctioned in your basement. Your children are more susceptible to STD's from playing at unprotected sex with a member of the opposite gender. Your daughters are at a higher risk of becoming pregnant before they turn 18 than discovering they are lesbians. Your sons have a higher probability of going to jail for possession of illegal drugs, dui, or causing a major accident by driving recklessly than facing that he gender-identifies as female and starts the agonizing journey of a transsexual. Your arguments are invalid.
Friday, December 18, 2009
"Itsy bitsy.........teeny weeny................little bitty............" GOD!!
Excuse me but whatever happened to "For God so loved the WORLD" and "love your neighbor as yourself" and "do unto (ALL) others as you would have them do unto you" and "what you did for the LEAST of these you did for ME!"? Huh?
These are big, bold, broad statements. If you go through the Bible, Qu'ran, Torah, because I'm going to focus on the Big Three/One God theologies right now, this Divine Being is pretty huge and it created THE WHOLE UNIVERSE and EVERYTHING in it. So why do people who follow these three doctrines work so hard to put this HOLY CREATOR into smaller and smaller boxes every day?
It hit me a couple of days ago when I read about pending legislation in Uganda to execute gays and lesbians. It caused another thought to rise up in me that I had considered a few weeks back...there are still parts of this country where interracial marriage is illegal. Although we've gotten a little less barbaric in the past fifty years it was not uncommon for one or both members of an interracial couple to be murdered for marrying the person they loved. Heck, they would be beaten or killed just for walking down the street hand in hand.
The thought broadened to the resurgence of Neo-Nazism in this country. Although the KKK seems to be "so last year", there are still way too many (any more than zero) hate groups in the U.S. who will not stop short of violence against Jews, queers, non-Caucasians, non-WASPs and the really alarming part is that they can justify this stuff with "Christian" scripture. WHAT?
In the Old Testament we get those "10 Rules for healthy living"...all of us Judeo-Christian kids had them memorized by the time we were eight. There is one in particular though that mankind seems to have this constant habit of adding an "if" or a "but" to...the "thou shall not kill" one. Yeah, that one. Now add to that this train of thought I'm on right now..."God", "Goddess", "Great Spirit", etc.- whatever you call that enormous Divine Universal Creating and Ruling Power is just that....HUUUUGE!!! And it's benevolent. It really wants us to "get it". It loves us. So sometimes it sends signs to show us the way. We usually do a pretty good job of ignoring those signs....things like the Holocaust to remind us that hate is just not part of the plan. "God" created each and every one of us so who are we to say that any race, religion, culture, sexuality or socio-economic status is any better or worse that the other? I love how I hear "fundies" declaring how God is the one true judge and yet they are the first to start judging everyone that doesn't go to their church. hmmmm
Last night I read a lovely spew of hate in, of all places that bastion of intelligent journalism, The Wall Street Journal. The author, Peggy Noonan, posted the question at the end of "Have we become a more vulgar country?". Now to put this in context, the entire article (which you can read here if you have a strong constitution "The Adam Lambert problem" ) Ms. Noonan is trying to take the focus off the current economic problems in this country and place all of our woes on the shoulders of a 27 year old rising pop star based on an event that occured weeks ago. I found myself at first enraged and then utterly amused by the ignorance of this "journalist". If we want to talk vulgar let's go back to those "kinder, gentler times of the 40's and 50's that she compares the present to. Signs still hung in restaurants, pubic transporation and restrooms declaring "Whites Only". Schools were still segragated. Girls who got pregnant out of wedlock were disowned by their families resulting in runaways or worse...suicide. Catholics where not allowed to run for the presidency. Jews tended to keep to themselves and try to remain out of the public eye, still more than a little gunshy after the Holocaust. And women were shamed out of the workplace and back into the home "where they belonged" when the troops returned from the war. But these things were not "vulgar"? I beg to differ.
"Red and yellow, black and white. They are precious in His sight. Jesus love the little children of the world." And he still loves us even when we are big, old, rich, poor, queer, Jew, Muslim, Buddhist, fat, skinny, boy or girl children. I always loved that shirt that said "I'm OK. God don't make junk!" There are lots of people in this world that I don't like but I have to love them. Sometimes that love means putting you in rehab, a mental institution or jail. Sometimes that love means telling you "no" or "wait". And sometimes that love means taking that extra $10 I just came into and buying a meal for a runaway teenager. So people? Quit trying to justify your hate, fear and anger by blaming it on The Divine...it just brings that Being down below your level and it's no longer a Sacred Creator but a little piss-ant under your shoe. You can't put God in a box. And you can't deny that He/She/It loves the Jew sitting next to you on the bus, the East Indian that sold you your last six-pack, the homeless kid that asked you for a buck or the gay man who does your hair nor can you say that any of these people have less of a right to walk this planet than you do.
These are big, bold, broad statements. If you go through the Bible, Qu'ran, Torah, because I'm going to focus on the Big Three/One God theologies right now, this Divine Being is pretty huge and it created THE WHOLE UNIVERSE and EVERYTHING in it. So why do people who follow these three doctrines work so hard to put this HOLY CREATOR into smaller and smaller boxes every day?
It hit me a couple of days ago when I read about pending legislation in Uganda to execute gays and lesbians. It caused another thought to rise up in me that I had considered a few weeks back...there are still parts of this country where interracial marriage is illegal. Although we've gotten a little less barbaric in the past fifty years it was not uncommon for one or both members of an interracial couple to be murdered for marrying the person they loved. Heck, they would be beaten or killed just for walking down the street hand in hand.
The thought broadened to the resurgence of Neo-Nazism in this country. Although the KKK seems to be "so last year", there are still way too many (any more than zero) hate groups in the U.S. who will not stop short of violence against Jews, queers, non-Caucasians, non-WASPs and the really alarming part is that they can justify this stuff with "Christian" scripture. WHAT?
In the Old Testament we get those "10 Rules for healthy living"...all of us Judeo-Christian kids had them memorized by the time we were eight. There is one in particular though that mankind seems to have this constant habit of adding an "if" or a "but" to...the "thou shall not kill" one. Yeah, that one. Now add to that this train of thought I'm on right now..."God", "Goddess", "Great Spirit", etc.- whatever you call that enormous Divine Universal Creating and Ruling Power is just that....HUUUUGE!!! And it's benevolent. It really wants us to "get it". It loves us. So sometimes it sends signs to show us the way. We usually do a pretty good job of ignoring those signs....things like the Holocaust to remind us that hate is just not part of the plan. "God" created each and every one of us so who are we to say that any race, religion, culture, sexuality or socio-economic status is any better or worse that the other? I love how I hear "fundies" declaring how God is the one true judge and yet they are the first to start judging everyone that doesn't go to their church. hmmmm
Last night I read a lovely spew of hate in, of all places that bastion of intelligent journalism, The Wall Street Journal. The author, Peggy Noonan, posted the question at the end of "Have we become a more vulgar country?". Now to put this in context, the entire article (which you can read here if you have a strong constitution "The Adam Lambert problem" ) Ms. Noonan is trying to take the focus off the current economic problems in this country and place all of our woes on the shoulders of a 27 year old rising pop star based on an event that occured weeks ago. I found myself at first enraged and then utterly amused by the ignorance of this "journalist". If we want to talk vulgar let's go back to those "kinder, gentler times of the 40's and 50's that she compares the present to. Signs still hung in restaurants, pubic transporation and restrooms declaring "Whites Only". Schools were still segragated. Girls who got pregnant out of wedlock were disowned by their families resulting in runaways or worse...suicide. Catholics where not allowed to run for the presidency. Jews tended to keep to themselves and try to remain out of the public eye, still more than a little gunshy after the Holocaust. And women were shamed out of the workplace and back into the home "where they belonged" when the troops returned from the war. But these things were not "vulgar"? I beg to differ.
"Red and yellow, black and white. They are precious in His sight. Jesus love the little children of the world." And he still loves us even when we are big, old, rich, poor, queer, Jew, Muslim, Buddhist, fat, skinny, boy or girl children. I always loved that shirt that said "I'm OK. God don't make junk!" There are lots of people in this world that I don't like but I have to love them. Sometimes that love means putting you in rehab, a mental institution or jail. Sometimes that love means telling you "no" or "wait". And sometimes that love means taking that extra $10 I just came into and buying a meal for a runaway teenager. So people? Quit trying to justify your hate, fear and anger by blaming it on The Divine...it just brings that Being down below your level and it's no longer a Sacred Creator but a little piss-ant under your shoe. You can't put God in a box. And you can't deny that He/She/It loves the Jew sitting next to you on the bus, the East Indian that sold you your last six-pack, the homeless kid that asked you for a buck or the gay man who does your hair nor can you say that any of these people have less of a right to walk this planet than you do.
Monday, November 16, 2009
The face (and heart) of my friend Rev. Matt
I've asked my friend Rev. Matt McCaffrey to guest blog for me today. Knowing that the congregation he is currently shepherding has taken "Open & Affirming" to a new level, I know he is someone who can give you some real life insight into agape...unconditional love.
MamaKath asked me to meditate on what it’s like to be part of a Christian church that “goes beyond doing just the LGBT thing.” This guest entry reflects my meditations.
About me: I am an ordained minister in the United Church of Christ (here in New England, mostly the white-steeple churches on every town green), and have been since 1988. I specialize in transitional ministry, serving churches where the settled pastor has left for a new call or retired (or sometimes worse), and helping them reclaim who they are while they seek new leadership. Since 1993 I’ve served nine congregations in different roles, and my state “conference” as minister of communication.
Being with a church during change is sometimes challenging, but it’s also cool because people know I’m not staying. That gives us freedom to try out new things and push some boundaries where they need to be pushed. I’ve found that, above all, people in the churches I serve are looking for love and reassurance that God accepts them. It’s my job to remember that.
I’ve been at Mansfield Center for about a year. UCC churches decide individually on…well, just about everything…but particularly on the kinds of faith stances they will take. This church declared itself “Open and Affirming” in 1991. Then and now, the ONA stance is understood by UCC churches to mean that LGBT folks are welcomed equally with everyone else who walks through the doors and participates in the church’s life and ministry. Churches who go through the ONA process and vote on it are very conscious about that meaning; maybe even self-conscious. Things change over time, though. At some point Mansfield Center had a “Duh” moment, realizing that “Open and Affirming” meant something bigger than sexual orientation. Without detracting from the huge “chromosome barrier” that has kept so many loving people down, hidden, or away from church altogether, there are other barriers that are swept away by this statement: poverty, politics, physical ability, mental health, language.
When I started journeying with this church last October, I found that old and young were welcome. So were people with autism whose behavior would get them quietly excluded from many congregations. So is a family from Iraq, whose patriarch served as a translator for U.S. troops and therefore was living in constant danger along with his wife and seven children. This summer, the congregation agreed to sponsor them and they now worship with us regularly—bringing an Muslim flavor to our practice even as they take on a Christian flavor in theirs.
The ONA idea, still feared by some as “political,” has evolved into an agape practice in this church—and it fits well with my own outlook about what Jesus was trying to teach. God so loved the world that in ultimate generosity we were given the most precious thing God had. The rules and fences that humanity erected around that gift would have frustrated Jesus himself! They reflect our own fears and need for control, not the spirit of the gift of love God gave us.
I asked MamaKath to ask me five questions, and I’d do my best to answer them. So, here’s her interview:
MK: When & how did you feel the call to at least attempt "agape" love?
MM: Probably before I’d heard the word or knew what it meant. Like many members of the United Church of Christ, I grew up in that other big brand-name hierarchical faith expression, and felt the call to be a priest when I was maybe 12 years old. A year or so later, hormones kicked in and I figured out why that call would be such a problem for me. (Hint: celibacy seems pretty unnatural to me.) It was my first experience of the conflict between God’s all-encompassing love and human attempts to “improve” it by putting restrictions on it.
MK: Do you see your ministry as an effort to lead others to practicing unconditional love?
MM: Without question. Many of the places where I’ve been called to transitional work have little tensions and resentments bubbling just under the surface. There are folks who would figuratively lay down their lives for the pastor who just left, and others who are saying under their breath (and sometimes out loud) “Good-bye, and don’t let the door hit your butt on the way out.” They hope the interim pastor (me) is going to do a “clean sweep” and get the “right people” into positions of influence. Hah! The kind of clean sweep I try to model is an inclusive one: clearing out the relationship clutter to make it possible for the right people and the other right people to be at the same table and talking again. I have taken my lumps from antagonistic people who are mad because I don’t feel particularly called to kiss their butts, but I also find that naming things for what they are tends to make room for love, respect, and healing.
MK: What does the following mean to you: "Life isn't easy but it should be simple."
MM: Ah, the essay!
Fewer meetings and more encounters. Fewer agendas and more action. Fewer rules and more good behavior.
Look, we could spend the next hundred years (or until Hartford becomes a beachfront community, whichever comes first) culling the Bible and looking for proof that God is for or against “the queers,” “the cripples,” “the illegals,” or whoever else we choose to name. This is how the prejudices of ancient societies get carried forward into our day, and there are some people who say that “because you’re a minister, you have to uphold these things.”
Guess what? I don’t. I was ordained a minister of the Gospel, not a minister of the Bible. My vows do hold me to rigorous study of scripture, but that word “Gospel” is not synonymous with “Bible.” It means “Good News,” and that’s what it’s all about.
I’m not here to make life even more complicated for people whose lives are already fearsomely complicated by circumstances. I’m here to say that God loves each of us, no matter who we are, no matter where we are. I think that’s a pretty simple message. Pretty profound, too.
MK: What are some of the things your current congregation is doing to open eyes & hearts to God and each other?
MM: I have to start with their expanded view of what it means to be “open and affirming.” Not long after I arrived a couple of our Deacons (elected to help serve the congregation in worship) approached me and wanted to know how I felt about the autistic young adult whose random vocalizations are a big part of the atmosphere during worship. They were relieved when I said it was okay with me, as I figured he was expressing his appreciation of worship (and even the sermon!) in the best way available to him. They had made the decision some time ago that he was welcome, and had met with some resistance from members of the congregation who were afraid it would offend the pastor!
I would say it’s not so much specific things the congregation is doing, so much as the way in which the congregation approaches its work. When the Supreme Court of Connecticut announced its decision to affirm same-gender marriages last October, my first thought was to consult with the church leadership about whether changes in church policy were needed now to take the possibility of performing a same-gender marriage into account. Their response was: We adopted the open and affirming stance, so what’s the problem?
Exactly.
MK: Is there a plan already in operation or on the drawing board to take this agape attitude beyond the congregation and into the surrounding communities? Do you feel that "putting a face on it" needs to part of the process?
MM: Fareed and his family are the best example of that right now. While we have adopted the role of “church family” for them, resettling them in northeastern Connecticut has been a huge and expensive undertaking. We had a community fundraising festival for them this past summer that was intentionally put into the community’s lap. (Lots of great music, by the way!) We have brought other churches, community groups, and businesses into the mix. Yesterday we learned that a local auto dealer had donated a used and reconditioned minivan to the family, and one of the other churches in the area agreed to pay for insurance so the van could be registered and driven. Fareed and his family brought a cake for fellowship time following worship; he told me that his wife called it a “birthday” cake. Why? For the “birth” of the minivan!
Another member of the church remarked on how pleasantly surprised he was that the family had been so well accepted into the church’s life and the community’s life. I’m not. Fareed, Fatima, and their beautiful children have put a compelling face on what it means to be Iraqi, and I think it has made an agape stance possible for people who would otherwise say “it’s impossible.”
[bio]
The Rev. Matt McCaffrey is an interim ministry specialist with the United Church of Christ, currently serving the First Church of Christ in Mansfield. He lives in Cheshire.
MamaKath asked me to meditate on what it’s like to be part of a Christian church that “goes beyond doing just the LGBT thing.” This guest entry reflects my meditations.
About me: I am an ordained minister in the United Church of Christ (here in New England, mostly the white-steeple churches on every town green), and have been since 1988. I specialize in transitional ministry, serving churches where the settled pastor has left for a new call or retired (or sometimes worse), and helping them reclaim who they are while they seek new leadership. Since 1993 I’ve served nine congregations in different roles, and my state “conference” as minister of communication.
Being with a church during change is sometimes challenging, but it’s also cool because people know I’m not staying. That gives us freedom to try out new things and push some boundaries where they need to be pushed. I’ve found that, above all, people in the churches I serve are looking for love and reassurance that God accepts them. It’s my job to remember that.
I’ve been at Mansfield Center for about a year. UCC churches decide individually on…well, just about everything…but particularly on the kinds of faith stances they will take. This church declared itself “Open and Affirming” in 1991. Then and now, the ONA stance is understood by UCC churches to mean that LGBT folks are welcomed equally with everyone else who walks through the doors and participates in the church’s life and ministry. Churches who go through the ONA process and vote on it are very conscious about that meaning; maybe even self-conscious. Things change over time, though. At some point Mansfield Center had a “Duh” moment, realizing that “Open and Affirming” meant something bigger than sexual orientation. Without detracting from the huge “chromosome barrier” that has kept so many loving people down, hidden, or away from church altogether, there are other barriers that are swept away by this statement: poverty, politics, physical ability, mental health, language.
When I started journeying with this church last October, I found that old and young were welcome. So were people with autism whose behavior would get them quietly excluded from many congregations. So is a family from Iraq, whose patriarch served as a translator for U.S. troops and therefore was living in constant danger along with his wife and seven children. This summer, the congregation agreed to sponsor them and they now worship with us regularly—bringing an Muslim flavor to our practice even as they take on a Christian flavor in theirs.
The ONA idea, still feared by some as “political,” has evolved into an agape practice in this church—and it fits well with my own outlook about what Jesus was trying to teach. God so loved the world that in ultimate generosity we were given the most precious thing God had. The rules and fences that humanity erected around that gift would have frustrated Jesus himself! They reflect our own fears and need for control, not the spirit of the gift of love God gave us.
I asked MamaKath to ask me five questions, and I’d do my best to answer them. So, here’s her interview:
MK: When & how did you feel the call to at least attempt "agape" love?
MM: Probably before I’d heard the word or knew what it meant. Like many members of the United Church of Christ, I grew up in that other big brand-name hierarchical faith expression, and felt the call to be a priest when I was maybe 12 years old. A year or so later, hormones kicked in and I figured out why that call would be such a problem for me. (Hint: celibacy seems pretty unnatural to me.) It was my first experience of the conflict between God’s all-encompassing love and human attempts to “improve” it by putting restrictions on it.
MK: Do you see your ministry as an effort to lead others to practicing unconditional love?
MM: Without question. Many of the places where I’ve been called to transitional work have little tensions and resentments bubbling just under the surface. There are folks who would figuratively lay down their lives for the pastor who just left, and others who are saying under their breath (and sometimes out loud) “Good-bye, and don’t let the door hit your butt on the way out.” They hope the interim pastor (me) is going to do a “clean sweep” and get the “right people” into positions of influence. Hah! The kind of clean sweep I try to model is an inclusive one: clearing out the relationship clutter to make it possible for the right people and the other right people to be at the same table and talking again. I have taken my lumps from antagonistic people who are mad because I don’t feel particularly called to kiss their butts, but I also find that naming things for what they are tends to make room for love, respect, and healing.
MK: What does the following mean to you: "Life isn't easy but it should be simple."
MM: Ah, the essay!
Fewer meetings and more encounters. Fewer agendas and more action. Fewer rules and more good behavior.
Look, we could spend the next hundred years (or until Hartford becomes a beachfront community, whichever comes first) culling the Bible and looking for proof that God is for or against “the queers,” “the cripples,” “the illegals,” or whoever else we choose to name. This is how the prejudices of ancient societies get carried forward into our day, and there are some people who say that “because you’re a minister, you have to uphold these things.”
Guess what? I don’t. I was ordained a minister of the Gospel, not a minister of the Bible. My vows do hold me to rigorous study of scripture, but that word “Gospel” is not synonymous with “Bible.” It means “Good News,” and that’s what it’s all about.
I’m not here to make life even more complicated for people whose lives are already fearsomely complicated by circumstances. I’m here to say that God loves each of us, no matter who we are, no matter where we are. I think that’s a pretty simple message. Pretty profound, too.
MK: What are some of the things your current congregation is doing to open eyes & hearts to God and each other?
MM: I have to start with their expanded view of what it means to be “open and affirming.” Not long after I arrived a couple of our Deacons (elected to help serve the congregation in worship) approached me and wanted to know how I felt about the autistic young adult whose random vocalizations are a big part of the atmosphere during worship. They were relieved when I said it was okay with me, as I figured he was expressing his appreciation of worship (and even the sermon!) in the best way available to him. They had made the decision some time ago that he was welcome, and had met with some resistance from members of the congregation who were afraid it would offend the pastor!
I would say it’s not so much specific things the congregation is doing, so much as the way in which the congregation approaches its work. When the Supreme Court of Connecticut announced its decision to affirm same-gender marriages last October, my first thought was to consult with the church leadership about whether changes in church policy were needed now to take the possibility of performing a same-gender marriage into account. Their response was: We adopted the open and affirming stance, so what’s the problem?
Exactly.
MK: Is there a plan already in operation or on the drawing board to take this agape attitude beyond the congregation and into the surrounding communities? Do you feel that "putting a face on it" needs to part of the process?
MM: Fareed and his family are the best example of that right now. While we have adopted the role of “church family” for them, resettling them in northeastern Connecticut has been a huge and expensive undertaking. We had a community fundraising festival for them this past summer
Another member of the church remarked on how pleasantly surprised he was that the family had been so well accepted into the church’s life and the community’s life. I’m not. Fareed, Fatima, and their beautiful children have put a compelling face on what it means to be Iraqi, and I think it has made an agape stance possible for people who would otherwise say “it’s impossible.”
[bio]
The Rev. Matt McCaffrey is an interim ministry specialist with the United Church of Christ, currently serving the First Church of Christ in Mansfield. He lives in Cheshire.
Saturday, November 7, 2009
The ritualistic intro post
So, besides music, MamaKath's brain and heart are full of a lot of other stuff. I thought about it and decided that these things warranted a separate blogoshere so as not to detract from my music ramblings and to provide a haven for those who were only interested in my thoughts, feelings, inspirations and affections in the political and spiritual realms.
The slogan for this blog came to me in an email discussion I had with a clergy acquaintence the other day after "Equality for Maine" was thwarted by a mere three precent of the population. He and I agreed that the church had failed where "the church" prevailed. The church has this book that talks about putting your neighbor above yourself and looking out for each other. It speaks of compassion, mercy, justice and humility. It tells you you will get your hands dirty if you're doing it right. "The Church" on the other hand preaches a tinier and tinier, selfish, bitchy, prejudice, dictator diety that is anything close to Divine, holy, sacred or benevolent. Their "god" doesn't like any of us and would prefer that we lock ourselves in our houses and cut ourselves off from any one that doesn't follow its doctrine. Their version "god" has rules...lots of rules about who is good enough and who you should take care of and how you can be better than all the other sheep and the diety will give you lots of money and you will live fat, dumb and happy all the days of your life. Now in this crazy faci-verse you can play up to a better ticket to the afterlife by supporting the impersonal annihilation of other humans while providing equally impersonal "help" to unknown faces across the seas in the form of checks. Your hands are squeaky clean with a nice thick coat of Purell on them.
But see the thing is, if you really wanna claim that you "know" Jesus...you need to go back and READ that book again. See he said "When I was naked you clothed me. When I was hungry you fed me. When I was sick you took care of me and when I was in prison your visited me. AND WHAT YOU DID FOR THE LEAST OF THESE YOU DID FOR ME". What the guy was saying; cuz back then there were no banks, no post offices and no PayPal, was that you had to get off your fat, lazy, fearful, arrogant ass and go help people. Don't pass off a fiver in the collection plate for some kid in Central America....go over to the Subway, buy a sandwich and bring it back to that 17-year-old runaway streetwalker you just passed while you were out shopping. Yeah, you're gonna have to look into those sad eyes and wonder what went down in her comfortable suburban home states away from where she ended up that caused her to run. She will give you a sad smile and say thank you. Your heart's gonna break a little more. For even the briefest of moments you will feel a little bit of love. You're not going to be afraid of her any more. You're not going to judge her in that instant. You're gonna see her as a fellow human who maybe had a dream, maybe still has that dream but right now she's just trying to stay alive. Trying to turn enough tricks to keep her pimp from beating her up and maybe have some place a little warmer than the street to sleep tonight. It's probably going to get to you enough that you're going to go home and say some real prayers starting with one for forgiveness for your laziness and stupidity. Then you're gonna pray for real help for that girl. And you never know...The Great Spirit's reply may be that you're the help. You're going to wake up with a need to do something. And if you listen carefully and watch the signs...that Truly Divine Being will point you to the sources of that girl's eventual "salvation" and I'm not talking getting her to some holy roller church where some guy who plays a preacher on TV lays hands on her and the congregation of hypocrits spends the rest of her life brain-washing and laying guilt trips on her. No I'm talking finding safe shelter, employment which provides food & clothing. Who knows, she might get her GED and even go to college. She may just end up the checker in your local grocery store or she may be destined to be the next Golda Meir or Madaleine Albright. But whether "peasant" or "noble" she will live not merely survive.
Put a face on it, people.
The slogan for this blog came to me in an email discussion I had with a clergy acquaintence the other day after "Equality for Maine" was thwarted by a mere three precent of the population. He and I agreed that the church had failed where "the church" prevailed. The church has this book that talks about putting your neighbor above yourself and looking out for each other. It speaks of compassion, mercy, justice and humility. It tells you you will get your hands dirty if you're doing it right. "The Church" on the other hand preaches a tinier and tinier, selfish, bitchy, prejudice, dictator diety that is anything close to Divine, holy, sacred or benevolent. Their "god" doesn't like any of us and would prefer that we lock ourselves in our houses and cut ourselves off from any one that doesn't follow its doctrine. Their version "god" has rules...lots of rules about who is good enough and who you should take care of and how you can be better than all the other sheep and the diety will give you lots of money and you will live fat, dumb and happy all the days of your life. Now in this crazy faci-verse you can play up to a better ticket to the afterlife by supporting the impersonal annihilation of other humans while providing equally impersonal "help" to unknown faces across the seas in the form of checks. Your hands are squeaky clean with a nice thick coat of Purell on them.
But see the thing is, if you really wanna claim that you "know" Jesus...you need to go back and READ that book again. See he said "When I was naked you clothed me. When I was hungry you fed me. When I was sick you took care of me and when I was in prison your visited me. AND WHAT YOU DID FOR THE LEAST OF THESE YOU DID FOR ME". What the guy was saying; cuz back then there were no banks, no post offices and no PayPal, was that you had to get off your fat, lazy, fearful, arrogant ass and go help people. Don't pass off a fiver in the collection plate for some kid in Central America....go over to the Subway, buy a sandwich and bring it back to that 17-year-old runaway streetwalker you just passed while you were out shopping. Yeah, you're gonna have to look into those sad eyes and wonder what went down in her comfortable suburban home states away from where she ended up that caused her to run. She will give you a sad smile and say thank you. Your heart's gonna break a little more. For even the briefest of moments you will feel a little bit of love. You're not going to be afraid of her any more. You're not going to judge her in that instant. You're gonna see her as a fellow human who maybe had a dream, maybe still has that dream but right now she's just trying to stay alive. Trying to turn enough tricks to keep her pimp from beating her up and maybe have some place a little warmer than the street to sleep tonight. It's probably going to get to you enough that you're going to go home and say some real prayers starting with one for forgiveness for your laziness and stupidity. Then you're gonna pray for real help for that girl. And you never know...The Great Spirit's reply may be that you're the help. You're going to wake up with a need to do something. And if you listen carefully and watch the signs...that Truly Divine Being will point you to the sources of that girl's eventual "salvation" and I'm not talking getting her to some holy roller church where some guy who plays a preacher on TV lays hands on her and the congregation of hypocrits spends the rest of her life brain-washing and laying guilt trips on her. No I'm talking finding safe shelter, employment which provides food & clothing. Who knows, she might get her GED and even go to college. She may just end up the checker in your local grocery store or she may be destined to be the next Golda Meir or Madaleine Albright. But whether "peasant" or "noble" she will live not merely survive.
Put a face on it, people.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
