Are humans designed to be boring? I don’t think so. But for some reason there are certain people hell-bent on making and keeping us that way. Start with religious rules and…actually…end with them too because those are what are used to influence civil rights and laws. They’re also what have worked their way into jurisdiction of the media with “decency” codes.
There was a short time however, when even “the church” opened its collective mind when it came to art. The Renaissance was a glorious time when the human body was depicted in all its naked glory, when minstrels wrote and performed bawdy love songs and plays were filled with bright costumes and beautiful words. Admitted women were not allowed on the stage or in the pulpit but they still adorned themselves in fabulous garments and danced with equally graceful and stunningly clad men. Art was not boring.
Last night America again showed how much fear there is of “breaking the rules”. Really? Aren’t we programmed to take risks, push the envelope? Look at the Goddess’s creation, filled with bright colors, bird that soar high and luxuriously furred quadrupeds. Mother Nature’s music is a cacophony of chirps, screams, howls and barks. Nothing boring there. So why have we allowed religion to take that out of spiritual writings and replace it with this austere, domineering, and judgmental deity with no spirit of adventure, beauty or curiosity?
No people, if The Fates had wanted us to listen to boring balladeers for all of our existence on this plain, no one would be born with the talent to dazzle the eye, ear, heart and brain like Michael Jackson, David Bowie, Madonna, Christina Aguilera, or even Motley Crue. It should not have been a risk for any of them to create the art they have. It should not have been considered risqué to view their performances. Life should be exciting not boring.
I do not understand how we have come to romanticize war, murder or other forms of physical violence. How did these become acceptable risks? Yet we run from art that is considered even the littlest bit edgy. Art tribes/communities are looked on by outsiders as odd, weird, hopefully go unnoticed and disappear. Yet people will pay money over and over for movies still being made about World War II, Korea and Vietnam. Gore can run deep and wide on the screen but a glimpse of breast or upper thigh is gasped at. People, the human body is far more beautiful all in one piece than ripped apart on a battlefield or in a dark alley.
Where did we lose our way? How do we find it again? When will beauty and creativity be exonerated, worshipped and encouraged again? When will minstrels, actors, painters, sculptors, writers, etc. be allowed out from under their rocks and appreciated in all their weird eccentricness?
Thursday, September 16, 2010
Monday, August 30, 2010
We're all ok - God don't make junk
It hit me today...we are all born beautiful creatures filled with a rainbow with another one wrapped around each new baby. That being said, anything done to tarnish those rainbows and crush the beautiful souls is the sin.
Yes, there are basic rules of civilization that must be taught; don't hurt or kill others, don't steal, don't mess with things that aren't yours, don't lie, don't cheat, be kind to each other. In its simplest form? Treat people the way you want to be treated.
When you put it in that context then it's easy to see how teaching the beautiful rainbow babies that people whose rainbows are different colors or twist instead of arc, sparkle instead of shine, spread over a different land than another is what we're supposed to be doing.
I've just read so much hate-mongering in the past week...and a lot of it people mongering are trying to claim that The Higher Power...which they also claim created all of us beautiful folk...says that some are less beautiful that others. In fact they say that some are downright ugly and should be physically and/or verbally abused because they are different. Wow! Talk about stuffing God into a tiny little box. Do they realize that they are calling the Great Spirit (1) fallible as a creator, (2) petty, (3) jealous, (4) vindictive and (5) a bigot.
One person in particular that really made me sad and angry was the niece of Dr. King who spewed some crazy stuff about homosexuality being the eventual extinction of the human race. Really? Even if they've been in the closet, gays have been around since the beginning of human history and the species is now over 6 BILLION strong on Mother Earth. I really don't see us going extinct any time soon. In fact if we do, it will have nothing to do with non-"christians", people of color, women or LGBT's. It will have to do with us disrespecting this planet and making it uninhabitable. I also found it a huge insult to her uncle to say that he would be for preventing anyone from having civil rights to any race, creed or sexual orientation. This woman needs to be time-traveled back to the days when African Americans were really treated poorly and then participate in the marches and all the other things the black community did to have their right to exist as a free person in the U.S. recognized and legislated. She should have to go back to the days of suffrage to spend a few days as a woman with no right to vote, shamed and humiliated if she even considered working outside the home, be the property of a man. No, Martin wanted freedom for all Americans.
Listen, I'm not saying that after birth that something causes a switch to be flipped in a person that turns them anti-social. It doesn't mean they're not supposed to be loved, it's just tough love. Some people need to be removed from society so they are not a danger to themselves or others. But when I say danger...I don't mean that because they follow a different religious doctrine or their skin is a different color or they are more attracted to their own gender or don't take to stereotypes. When I say danger I'm talking socio or psychopaths. People who are intent on hurting or killing someone else or themselves...serial killers, pyromaniacs, clinically depressed, pedophiles, or schizophrenics/multiple personality disorders. An avergage Muslim, African American, woman, or LGBT person is neither a danger to themselves or to anyone else. So to raise a child to believe that any of these people's rainbows are less beautiful than their own, pretty much spits in The Great Spirit's eye.
Drugs are not the sin, concentual sex is not the sin, gender is not the sin, race is not the sin until they hurt someone else. Teach the rainbow children to love one another. Teach them to appreciate individuality. Teach them to respect themselves and others. And also allow their rainbows to grow and mature and be wholly theirs. Encourage their talents, their spirit, their passions. Teach boys that it is healthy and right for them to be emotional. It actually makes them stronger not weaker. Teach girls it's alright for them to be more math oriented. Help end fear and stereotyping. Cultivate peace, joy and love. Embrace, encourage, be the rainbow.
Yes, there are basic rules of civilization that must be taught; don't hurt or kill others, don't steal, don't mess with things that aren't yours, don't lie, don't cheat, be kind to each other. In its simplest form? Treat people the way you want to be treated.
When you put it in that context then it's easy to see how teaching the beautiful rainbow babies that people whose rainbows are different colors or twist instead of arc, sparkle instead of shine, spread over a different land than another is what we're supposed to be doing.
I've just read so much hate-mongering in the past week...and a lot of it people mongering are trying to claim that The Higher Power...which they also claim created all of us beautiful folk...says that some are less beautiful that others. In fact they say that some are downright ugly and should be physically and/or verbally abused because they are different. Wow! Talk about stuffing God into a tiny little box. Do they realize that they are calling the Great Spirit (1) fallible as a creator, (2) petty, (3) jealous, (4) vindictive and (5) a bigot.
One person in particular that really made me sad and angry was the niece of Dr. King who spewed some crazy stuff about homosexuality being the eventual extinction of the human race. Really? Even if they've been in the closet, gays have been around since the beginning of human history and the species is now over 6 BILLION strong on Mother Earth. I really don't see us going extinct any time soon. In fact if we do, it will have nothing to do with non-"christians", people of color, women or LGBT's. It will have to do with us disrespecting this planet and making it uninhabitable. I also found it a huge insult to her uncle to say that he would be for preventing anyone from having civil rights to any race, creed or sexual orientation. This woman needs to be time-traveled back to the days when African Americans were really treated poorly and then participate in the marches and all the other things the black community did to have their right to exist as a free person in the U.S. recognized and legislated. She should have to go back to the days of suffrage to spend a few days as a woman with no right to vote, shamed and humiliated if she even considered working outside the home, be the property of a man. No, Martin wanted freedom for all Americans.
Listen, I'm not saying that after birth that something causes a switch to be flipped in a person that turns them anti-social. It doesn't mean they're not supposed to be loved, it's just tough love. Some people need to be removed from society so they are not a danger to themselves or others. But when I say danger...I don't mean that because they follow a different religious doctrine or their skin is a different color or they are more attracted to their own gender or don't take to stereotypes. When I say danger I'm talking socio or psychopaths. People who are intent on hurting or killing someone else or themselves...serial killers, pyromaniacs, clinically depressed, pedophiles, or schizophrenics/multiple personality disorders. An avergage Muslim, African American, woman, or LGBT person is neither a danger to themselves or to anyone else. So to raise a child to believe that any of these people's rainbows are less beautiful than their own, pretty much spits in The Great Spirit's eye.
Drugs are not the sin, concentual sex is not the sin, gender is not the sin, race is not the sin until they hurt someone else. Teach the rainbow children to love one another. Teach them to appreciate individuality. Teach them to respect themselves and others. And also allow their rainbows to grow and mature and be wholly theirs. Encourage their talents, their spirit, their passions. Teach boys that it is healthy and right for them to be emotional. It actually makes them stronger not weaker. Teach girls it's alright for them to be more math oriented. Help end fear and stereotyping. Cultivate peace, joy and love. Embrace, encourage, be the rainbow.
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
While you were sleeping...
...or allowing yourself to be boondoggled, hornswaggled, bullshitted or just scared by the U.S. media and the government after 9-11, things were festering and growing and you let them.
You allowed yourself to give up your civil and personal rights, believing the b.s. spewing from your radio and television or splashed across print and internet headlines. "You're all gonna die if you don't support illegal acts of violence against a foreign nation (Iraq), allow us to illegally incarcerate a whole lot of people in Cuba, set up "watch" lists for air travel (sadly they're still missing all the bad guys coming into the country), and watch your activity at your local library. And there's a whole plethora of other rights you gave up because "It's unAmerican to question such things". HORSESHIT!
To question and call out is the most American thing you can do. And you should do it. The government is a bunch of fallible humans just like you. Because you voted for them does not make them experts on running your life. Thomas Jefferson said, when he helped pen the structuring of the Republic, it would need a good revolution every generation to keep it on its toes. Boy are we long overdue or what?
http://www.naturalnews.com/029153_British_Petroleum_Police_State.html?utm_source=twitterfeed&utm_medium=twitter
The link above shows what happens to freedom of the press when they get scared and allow themselves to be puppets of big business and the government. They backed off (slacked off). Sure they got a little bit of nitty-gritty into the public eye about FEMA and the whole hurricane debacle. Every so often we hear about some governmental indiscretion but for the most part, major media has been publishing what the publicist tell them to. Wow, wonder how long the fed has had a PR department or at least one that has strong-armed the press the way they do now? But the point is that now that media has a real piece of meat to sink its teeth into with the Gulf/BP mess, they're seeing the error of their ways for not sticking up for the first amendment both for freedom of the press and the right to petition for redress of grievances.
Starting in the first days after 9-11 I started preaching my mantra of "Retaining the Republic for which we stand before we become the United Police State of America". Obviously I was a voice crying in the wilderness. I tried to find a quote this morning but failed. Something to the effect of not becoming the empire we sought to free ourselves from. I remember it was from a member of the first continental congress and had to do with the establishment of the new Republic. But at the end of the day it all boils down to this. We allowed ourselves to be beat into submission with the constant admonition of our president about being "UnAmerican". Nary a one spoke up loudly enough in a public forum, myself included, to say "Hey W! Speaking out is the most American thing about America and questioning our government is the second most American thing to do!"
At the time I did start reading the free press more to learn what was really going on but I did nothing with what I was learning. I bitched and complained to friends and people around me who would listen and sometimes agree but did we form any kind of protest group? No. Did I write letters to my representatives? Not enough to count and not about the really gritty issues. I did not call out the passing of the "Patriot" Act or the establishment of Homeland Security. I have not questions the sending of the National Guard abroad while the regular Army stays here. I have not demanded at stop to lobbyists or term limitations. I am just as guilty as the next guy for being "unAmerican"
So here we are. Government and big business goons muzzling the press. CNN rages "How dare they?". Well at least they're finally raging and seeing that if the small media guy gets busted, they're next. Is it too little too late? Or will it light enough of a spark under American journalists and their employers to finally say "STOP! Freedom of the press!" and start speaking out? Will we find out what is really going on in the Gulf and on Capitol Hill regarding BP and when they are going to fix this disaster? And once the big gash in Mother Earth's belly is sutured and bandaged, will the press continue to stick up for itself? Will they call out big business for the laundry list of crap they have gotten away with mostly with congress' blessing? We can only hope.
In the meantime, I've found my guts. Sure, I'm just a measly little blogger who only a few people read, but at least I will flex my right to speak freely and demand answers and air my grievances. President Obama, I voted for you and you have let me down at every turn. I know you don't run the show but you can get into the House and the Senate and demand that they get their collective heads out of their collective asses. You can tell the United States what is REALLY going on. You told me that you wanted to "green up America". Well you know what? There's a lot of brown sludge on her beaches that is killing the green and the animals and eventually the people. How about you start showing me how "green" you are by demanding BP get their asses in gear and fix this shit? How about you call off the cops, Homeland Security and BP employees who are blocking the press and doing illegal search and seizures? How about you stick up for THIS country and stop protecting the empire we declared our independence from? How about you start sticking up for all of our first amendment rights? How about it Prez? And press? How about you join me and grow a pair? And anyone who reads this blog, how about becoming a true American again and speaking out?
You allowed yourself to give up your civil and personal rights, believing the b.s. spewing from your radio and television or splashed across print and internet headlines. "You're all gonna die if you don't support illegal acts of violence against a foreign nation (Iraq), allow us to illegally incarcerate a whole lot of people in Cuba, set up "watch" lists for air travel (sadly they're still missing all the bad guys coming into the country), and watch your activity at your local library. And there's a whole plethora of other rights you gave up because "It's unAmerican to question such things". HORSESHIT!
To question and call out is the most American thing you can do. And you should do it. The government is a bunch of fallible humans just like you. Because you voted for them does not make them experts on running your life. Thomas Jefferson said, when he helped pen the structuring of the Republic, it would need a good revolution every generation to keep it on its toes. Boy are we long overdue or what?
http://www.naturalnews.com/029153_British_Petroleum_Police_State.html?utm_source=twitterfeed&utm_medium=twitter
The link above shows what happens to freedom of the press when they get scared and allow themselves to be puppets of big business and the government. They backed off (slacked off). Sure they got a little bit of nitty-gritty into the public eye about FEMA and the whole hurricane debacle. Every so often we hear about some governmental indiscretion but for the most part, major media has been publishing what the publicist tell them to. Wow, wonder how long the fed has had a PR department or at least one that has strong-armed the press the way they do now? But the point is that now that media has a real piece of meat to sink its teeth into with the Gulf/BP mess, they're seeing the error of their ways for not sticking up for the first amendment both for freedom of the press and the right to petition for redress of grievances.
Starting in the first days after 9-11 I started preaching my mantra of "Retaining the Republic for which we stand before we become the United Police State of America". Obviously I was a voice crying in the wilderness. I tried to find a quote this morning but failed. Something to the effect of not becoming the empire we sought to free ourselves from. I remember it was from a member of the first continental congress and had to do with the establishment of the new Republic. But at the end of the day it all boils down to this. We allowed ourselves to be beat into submission with the constant admonition of our president about being "UnAmerican". Nary a one spoke up loudly enough in a public forum, myself included, to say "Hey W! Speaking out is the most American thing about America and questioning our government is the second most American thing to do!"
At the time I did start reading the free press more to learn what was really going on but I did nothing with what I was learning. I bitched and complained to friends and people around me who would listen and sometimes agree but did we form any kind of protest group? No. Did I write letters to my representatives? Not enough to count and not about the really gritty issues. I did not call out the passing of the "Patriot" Act or the establishment of Homeland Security. I have not questions the sending of the National Guard abroad while the regular Army stays here. I have not demanded at stop to lobbyists or term limitations. I am just as guilty as the next guy for being "unAmerican"
So here we are. Government and big business goons muzzling the press. CNN rages "How dare they?". Well at least they're finally raging and seeing that if the small media guy gets busted, they're next. Is it too little too late? Or will it light enough of a spark under American journalists and their employers to finally say "STOP! Freedom of the press!" and start speaking out? Will we find out what is really going on in the Gulf and on Capitol Hill regarding BP and when they are going to fix this disaster? And once the big gash in Mother Earth's belly is sutured and bandaged, will the press continue to stick up for itself? Will they call out big business for the laundry list of crap they have gotten away with mostly with congress' blessing? We can only hope.
In the meantime, I've found my guts. Sure, I'm just a measly little blogger who only a few people read, but at least I will flex my right to speak freely and demand answers and air my grievances. President Obama, I voted for you and you have let me down at every turn. I know you don't run the show but you can get into the House and the Senate and demand that they get their collective heads out of their collective asses. You can tell the United States what is REALLY going on. You told me that you wanted to "green up America". Well you know what? There's a lot of brown sludge on her beaches that is killing the green and the animals and eventually the people. How about you start showing me how "green" you are by demanding BP get their asses in gear and fix this shit? How about you call off the cops, Homeland Security and BP employees who are blocking the press and doing illegal search and seizures? How about you stick up for THIS country and stop protecting the empire we declared our independence from? How about you start sticking up for all of our first amendment rights? How about it Prez? And press? How about you join me and grow a pair? And anyone who reads this blog, how about becoming a true American again and speaking out?
Thursday, July 1, 2010
Matthew Leone
Nathan's blog about his twin
Last night I signed on to Twitter to see a post from a fan-friend follower about putting Matthew Leone, bassist for Madina Lake in her prayers. As I'd been away from my computer all day, I was scrolling from oldest to newest so I hadn't come across Nathan's tweet with the link (above) to his blog.
Matthew Leone, identical twin brother of the band's lead vocalist and frontman Nathan, did what we are all called to do, step in and help his neighbor. He was walking home from his brother's and walked into the middle of a fight between a man and his female significant other. The fight was physical so Leone jumped in to rescue the woman from the man. What he got in return was a beating severe enough to leave him unconscious on the sidewalk and then moved to the ICU of a Chicago hospital. Both members of the couple left him for dead on that sidewalk.
Matthew is currently fighting for his life. As a friend of a friend of the band, I know how hard they are all taking this. As someone who is aware of the bond between twins, I can only imagine what Nathan is going through. I met his brother once, about three years ago at The Webster in Hartford. When I thought back on it last night, I remember Matthew having a very bright intense aura that ranged from yellow to white. He had a bright smile and made my son and I laugh. Later that evening when Madina Lake played the closing set, Matthew was just a ball of energy. Together with his brother they kept the crowd wrapped around their fingers and the room was on fire. It was a great show. Watching the twins interact I could see that each was the yin to the other's yang
Mateo and Danny are the "other brothers" that just make Madina Lake such a special band. Having met Dan and knowing a lot about him, he is a peaceful spirit that is needed right now. Mateo feels like someone strong and passionate. Again, a good person for Nathan to have around.
The bottom line is this...Matthew put a face on it Tuesday night. He felt the compassion when he saw what was happening and chose to try to do something about it. Now you put a face on Matthew. He smiles. He laughs. He makes great music. He could be your brother, your son or your next door neighbor. Now put him in your prayers. Also pray for this couple that walked away from this beautiful boy, left him wrecked on the street, that they will put a face on him too and come forward and admit to this horrible act of violence. Shine bright Matt. We're all out here rooting for you. Keep pouring your love into your brother, Nathan. He needs you now more than ever.
Peace, joy & Love from
Mom
Last night I signed on to Twitter to see a post from a fan-friend follower about putting Matthew Leone, bassist for Madina Lake in her prayers. As I'd been away from my computer all day, I was scrolling from oldest to newest so I hadn't come across Nathan's tweet with the link (above) to his blog.
Matthew Leone, identical twin brother of the band's lead vocalist and frontman Nathan, did what we are all called to do, step in and help his neighbor. He was walking home from his brother's and walked into the middle of a fight between a man and his female significant other. The fight was physical so Leone jumped in to rescue the woman from the man. What he got in return was a beating severe enough to leave him unconscious on the sidewalk and then moved to the ICU of a Chicago hospital. Both members of the couple left him for dead on that sidewalk.
Matthew is currently fighting for his life. As a friend of a friend of the band, I know how hard they are all taking this. As someone who is aware of the bond between twins, I can only imagine what Nathan is going through. I met his brother once, about three years ago at The Webster in Hartford. When I thought back on it last night, I remember Matthew having a very bright intense aura that ranged from yellow to white. He had a bright smile and made my son and I laugh. Later that evening when Madina Lake played the closing set, Matthew was just a ball of energy. Together with his brother they kept the crowd wrapped around their fingers and the room was on fire. It was a great show. Watching the twins interact I could see that each was the yin to the other's yang
Mateo and Danny are the "other brothers" that just make Madina Lake such a special band. Having met Dan and knowing a lot about him, he is a peaceful spirit that is needed right now. Mateo feels like someone strong and passionate. Again, a good person for Nathan to have around.
The bottom line is this...Matthew put a face on it Tuesday night. He felt the compassion when he saw what was happening and chose to try to do something about it. Now you put a face on Matthew. He smiles. He laughs. He makes great music. He could be your brother, your son or your next door neighbor. Now put him in your prayers. Also pray for this couple that walked away from this beautiful boy, left him wrecked on the street, that they will put a face on him too and come forward and admit to this horrible act of violence. Shine bright Matt. We're all out here rooting for you. Keep pouring your love into your brother, Nathan. He needs you now more than ever.
Peace, joy & Love from
Mom
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Sometimes freedom bites us in the ass
We live in a nation that, fortunately, has a constitution that endows us with the right to free speech. Most of the time this is a great and good thing. However, that freedom also allows groups such as the KKK, skinheads and other hate groups to also speak their minds. So, the courts are stuck between a rock and a hard place determining when they can successfully prosecute groups or individuals for actual hate crimes. Now I don't know about you but I would consider what Fred Phelps and his clan pull at funerals a hate crime. However, recently a court of appeals decided not only was the Westboro "Baptist" "Church" exercising its right to free speech but also ordered the family who brought the suit against them to pay over $16,000 in damages and court fees to Phelps & Co. How's that for trying to find peace over the loss of your child?
This also answered another question. How does "Reverend" Fred and family afford to travel all over the country to hold their hate vigils along with paying the daily bills and keeping a roof over their heads? WBC is not sactioned or supported by any sector of the Baptist church so the preacher is not receiving compensation there. As his flock is tiny and mostly family members, no one's putting money in the collection plate to provide his salary. That leaves other wing-nuts around the country/world who send donations, gullible members of the press who will pay for an exclusive story and the poor unsuspecting families of dead children who find out the hard way that "Rev." Phelps knows very well how to work the U.S. legal system to his benefit.
How can you help stop this idiocy and offer some peace to grieving families? Well the current victim of WBC's flouting of our right to free speech is Spring Garden, PA resident Albert Snyder whose son Marine Lance Cpl. Matthew Snyder, was killed in Iraq in 2006. Westboro picketed his funeral in Westminster, Md. Snyder had originally sued WBC for invasion of privacy and emotional distress over the incident and was awarded a $5 million settlement. However, WBC appealed the ruling and now Snyder has been handed a bill for $16.5K for Fred's time, trouble and legal fees. You can donate to the fund that has been set up to help Albert pay this bill either here: Barley Snyder LLC, 100 East Market Street, York, PA 17401 or visit Matthew Snyder. org to donate electronically.
As for future things you can do to end this lecivious behavior? Check out this blog to see what happened when the WBC showed up at Twitter headquarters in San Francisco: Counter protest at Twitter headquarters in San Francisco If you read the article, apparently Fred and his flock were humiliated to the point that they did not show up for their other planned outing that day, a theater where Fiddler On The Roof was playing. Remember if you and your group do plan a counter-protest such as this you should not interact with any members of the WBC as they are experts at twisting words and situations to their favor. I would hate to see you stuck with legal judgements that put your money in Mr. Phelps' pocket. Also do not visit any websites affiliated with WBS or God Hates Fags as they do get paid by advertisers for site hits just like everyone else. There is plenty of information about this group on the mainstream press sites along with blogs and wikipedia.Photo credits: SandwichGirl Rubin Starset
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Real strength and courage
Interesting how a work of fiction has opened me to so many sides of love over the past four months. I follow a WIP (work in progress) about a relationship between two guys. One suffers from post traumatic stress as a result of being gang raped in high school. Ten years later he starts to recover after hiding behind a wall of false bravado and domination. He has been forced to finally face down his demons, identify triggers and develop new coping skills in an attempt to re-enter society having been inspired by meeting someone who he eventually falls in love with. His partner has his own psych issues to deal with and so the whole thing is very real, it's not a peaches and cream romance.
The first time this story came into my life on a real gut level was dealing with a family member who had just hit that point in their life where they needed to either finally let the dragons out and deal with them or crawl under a rock which would have meant sacrificing a career and a wonderful romance. Having dealt with this person for many years but never really identifying the issues and facing them head-on, I took lessons from the story and suggested they identify their triggers. Also to identify negativity in their life that could be avoided. The last time we were together there was a huge melt-down on both our parts but it was something we both knew had to happen. But this time there was no yelling one another into submission. No nasty outbursts. When they got angry I saw that they were angry with themselves and no one else. The next morning we were in a whole new place. Since then this person has been doing a great job of healing and dealing. I'm so proud of them.
The other lesson I learned from this story came tonight and it lifted this large, heavy black veil from a mystery I have pondered for quite a while...why are men so afraid of women or other guys who are more passive? The answer was the macho guys are afraid because they know that emotional strength is far greater than physical. To let down one's guard, to care-especially for someone else more than yourself, to empathize, to show compassion takes so much more. You bare your heart not your throat. To have one's heart broken is sometimes monumental. It is a crushing blow that is painful for a long time. It leaves deep scars. If you want real love you have to be vulnerable and that vulnerability just magnifies the hurt if it doesn't work out. And I'm not just talking romantic relationships. Think how many times you've been hurt by a friend. Or take it another step, how about trying to help a stranger who just blows you off?
So guys get all in their heads about how they are going to protect the women folk who are weak. Ok, maybe we're physically weaker but guys?...We birth babies if you want to talk tolerance of pain. We also schlep those babies around, open vacuum sealed jars to feed them, do laundry, clean houses, etc. etc. Physically we don't do half bad. But maybe we sometimes would like a little emotional protection and support. Hold us while we cry. Hug a kid who's had a bad day. Sit down and hold an intelligent conversation. See someone who is worse off than you and do something nice for them.
For any dude who wants to play the "christian" card? Ummm I never read a story where Jesus punched someone out. He didn't watch football or drink beer. He didn't treat women like chattel, crap, bimbos or anything less than emotional and intellectual equals. Hey! I said JC! Yeah, you're gonna pull out all those other dudes that either hung around with him or came after him that seemed to have a problem with women and passive men. (Interject a giggle that the bible never mentions lesbians...hmmmm) No, Jesus had women friends, followers and disciples. He told Martha to come out of the kitchen and hold an conversation with he and Mary and the other people in the house. I'd like to think that he apologized to Peter's wife for the neighbors taking the roof off the house and helped replace it the next day. He did give out a number of ass-chewings to the Pharisees and their cohorts but he never laid a glove or sword on any of them despite the fact that Caiaphas and his boys pissed JC off a lot. Jesus was a pacifist and yet, I dare any of you to be strong enough to take on the entire world's guilt and accept the death sentence of the court without any protest. Hell, I dare you to go to jail for a year for somebody else's transgression or for sticking up for someone else's rights.
In the story, the guy who is recovering from PTSD has just been put in a position where he really sees how much stronger his is now that he has become vulnerable than when he hid behind the strut and swagger. As I read how the realization hits him, a bright light came on for me and that big black cloth was stripped away. I just wish that my words would give all the guys in the world permission to let down their guard. Stop being afraid or jealous of men and women who are strong enough to care. We're not going to hurt you and it doesn't make you any less male. It makes you human. Find the strength and courage to cry. To hold someone else when they fall apart. Allow your hearts to love even if they do get broken. Yeah, there will be scars and residual pain but they will heal. Try. Please?
The first time this story came into my life on a real gut level was dealing with a family member who had just hit that point in their life where they needed to either finally let the dragons out and deal with them or crawl under a rock which would have meant sacrificing a career and a wonderful romance. Having dealt with this person for many years but never really identifying the issues and facing them head-on, I took lessons from the story and suggested they identify their triggers. Also to identify negativity in their life that could be avoided. The last time we were together there was a huge melt-down on both our parts but it was something we both knew had to happen. But this time there was no yelling one another into submission. No nasty outbursts. When they got angry I saw that they were angry with themselves and no one else. The next morning we were in a whole new place. Since then this person has been doing a great job of healing and dealing. I'm so proud of them.
The other lesson I learned from this story came tonight and it lifted this large, heavy black veil from a mystery I have pondered for quite a while...why are men so afraid of women or other guys who are more passive? The answer was the macho guys are afraid because they know that emotional strength is far greater than physical. To let down one's guard, to care-especially for someone else more than yourself, to empathize, to show compassion takes so much more. You bare your heart not your throat. To have one's heart broken is sometimes monumental. It is a crushing blow that is painful for a long time. It leaves deep scars. If you want real love you have to be vulnerable and that vulnerability just magnifies the hurt if it doesn't work out. And I'm not just talking romantic relationships. Think how many times you've been hurt by a friend. Or take it another step, how about trying to help a stranger who just blows you off?
So guys get all in their heads about how they are going to protect the women folk who are weak. Ok, maybe we're physically weaker but guys?...We birth babies if you want to talk tolerance of pain. We also schlep those babies around, open vacuum sealed jars to feed them, do laundry, clean houses, etc. etc. Physically we don't do half bad. But maybe we sometimes would like a little emotional protection and support. Hold us while we cry. Hug a kid who's had a bad day. Sit down and hold an intelligent conversation. See someone who is worse off than you and do something nice for them.
For any dude who wants to play the "christian" card? Ummm I never read a story where Jesus punched someone out. He didn't watch football or drink beer. He didn't treat women like chattel, crap, bimbos or anything less than emotional and intellectual equals. Hey! I said JC! Yeah, you're gonna pull out all those other dudes that either hung around with him or came after him that seemed to have a problem with women and passive men. (Interject a giggle that the bible never mentions lesbians...hmmmm) No, Jesus had women friends, followers and disciples. He told Martha to come out of the kitchen and hold an conversation with he and Mary and the other people in the house. I'd like to think that he apologized to Peter's wife for the neighbors taking the roof off the house and helped replace it the next day. He did give out a number of ass-chewings to the Pharisees and their cohorts but he never laid a glove or sword on any of them despite the fact that Caiaphas and his boys pissed JC off a lot. Jesus was a pacifist and yet, I dare any of you to be strong enough to take on the entire world's guilt and accept the death sentence of the court without any protest. Hell, I dare you to go to jail for a year for somebody else's transgression or for sticking up for someone else's rights.
In the story, the guy who is recovering from PTSD has just been put in a position where he really sees how much stronger his is now that he has become vulnerable than when he hid behind the strut and swagger. As I read how the realization hits him, a bright light came on for me and that big black cloth was stripped away. I just wish that my words would give all the guys in the world permission to let down their guard. Stop being afraid or jealous of men and women who are strong enough to care. We're not going to hurt you and it doesn't make you any less male. It makes you human. Find the strength and courage to cry. To hold someone else when they fall apart. Allow your hearts to love even if they do get broken. Yeah, there will be scars and residual pain but they will heal. Try. Please?
Saturday, March 13, 2010
Hey America! When did you forget how to laugh at yourself?
Dear America,
It hit me today the biggest thing wrong with this country right now...we've lost our ability to laugh at ourselves. As a nation, not myself personally or most of my friends, we've gotten really holier-than-thou. We think we are the shit as far as countries and governments go and that everyone should want to be like us. Really? I mean really?
As I have stated before and will go to my grave feeling, the hippies let me down. Unless the part of the under 40 crowd that has a sense of humor, conviction and open minds prevails we are doomed to have the time from 1964ish to the very early 80's go down in American history as a blip on the radar screen. I pray hard every day that the loud-mouthed, rainbow colored folks twenty years my junior are successful in not allowing things like Woodstock, Stonewall and Dr. King be forgotten.
Yes, there were a lot of very serious things that happened in the 60's and 70's...Vietnam, WATTS, the Mason murders, the gas squeeze, Watergate and the Kennedy assassinations. But those things drew us close and we poured out tons of new art like the whole rock music shift, Andy Warhol, Peter Maxx, Hair, Clockwork Orange, Kurt Vaunagut, etc. We also birthed amazing comedy inspired by our neighbors to the north (SCTV) and the Brits (Monty Python and Benny Hill). Saturday Night Live hit NBC and shocked us up but had us laughing insanely at our own stupidity. We saw the rise of people like Billy Crystal, Robin Williams and Whoopi. Political humor was biting and deep but Washington took it and for awhile still seemed to be fighting for us, just a little.
Things have become so incredibly boring and lack-luster in the country that owns half the world's wealth. Art is black and white photography and earth-mother pottery. Etsy and Ebay wreak of more of the same feathered barrettes and beaded jewelry. Books and screenplays are just rehash after re-hash. With the death of Crichton we are left with Dan Brown as far as exciting, well-researched adventure fiction. Tim Burton and Tarentino about the only current directors with an out-of-the-box vision. Scorsasi is amazing but how many more years will we have him? Besides he was a product of that 70's art explosion too. Fortunately he's been able to hold on despite the Academy's continuing snubs. Even some of the good ones eroded into cookie cutter bullshit, like Speilberg. Comedy has become nothing but a conglomeration of stupid site gags. People, Will Farrell is not clever. And the few great satirsts have to deal with five-year old politicians who go "You're picking on me. Say you're sorry." Really? That's why it's call political satire. You chose to be a legislator, you knew what came with the job and besides its only a bit more sarcastic way of the public demanding you to do the job you were elected to do.
As far as modern rock? The only American old regime that stays true to their tight black jeans, eye make-up and big hair is The Crue. Jon and Richie, Sebastian and Brett have left their spandex and Adorn behind for boring flannel and blue denim. :::yawn::: Yeah, Kiss still does their thing but Gene has gotten so arrogantly, irrelevant. Even he stopped laughing at himself.
So today I put a face on the majority of my own country. This face has furrows in its brow, scowl lines at the corners of its mouth, and cold eyes. I don't know what to do to bring back you sense of mirth. You really need to get over yourself. You're not that wonderful. You're far from perfect but that's ok. You're human. You don't have all the answers but you don't seem to be open to learning any new ones. You need to recoup your free spirits and stop with all these rules. The government and the church are not responsible for you, you are. There really is only one rule...treat people the way you want to be treated. If you don't like what's on TV...shut it off. If you don't like what's on the newstand...don't buy it. If you don't want your kids exposed to crap...throw out the computer or put passwords on it. Oh and while we're at it...be a PARENT!! But in that parenting...teach your kids to laugh...not at others who are different than them but at themselves. When they face their own frailties, suddenly others are something to become the butt of a joke.
LAUGH AMERICA...IT WILL MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER!!!
It hit me today the biggest thing wrong with this country right now...we've lost our ability to laugh at ourselves. As a nation, not myself personally or most of my friends, we've gotten really holier-than-thou. We think we are the shit as far as countries and governments go and that everyone should want to be like us. Really? I mean really?
As I have stated before and will go to my grave feeling, the hippies let me down. Unless the part of the under 40 crowd that has a sense of humor, conviction and open minds prevails we are doomed to have the time from 1964ish to the very early 80's go down in American history as a blip on the radar screen. I pray hard every day that the loud-mouthed, rainbow colored folks twenty years my junior are successful in not allowing things like Woodstock, Stonewall and Dr. King be forgotten.
Yes, there were a lot of very serious things that happened in the 60's and 70's...Vietnam, WATTS, the Mason murders, the gas squeeze, Watergate and the Kennedy assassinations. But those things drew us close and we poured out tons of new art like the whole rock music shift, Andy Warhol, Peter Maxx, Hair, Clockwork Orange, Kurt Vaunagut, etc. We also birthed amazing comedy inspired by our neighbors to the north (SCTV) and the Brits (Monty Python and Benny Hill). Saturday Night Live hit NBC and shocked us up but had us laughing insanely at our own stupidity. We saw the rise of people like Billy Crystal, Robin Williams and Whoopi. Political humor was biting and deep but Washington took it and for awhile still seemed to be fighting for us, just a little.
Things have become so incredibly boring and lack-luster in the country that owns half the world's wealth. Art is black and white photography and earth-mother pottery. Etsy and Ebay wreak of more of the same feathered barrettes and beaded jewelry. Books and screenplays are just rehash after re-hash. With the death of Crichton we are left with Dan Brown as far as exciting, well-researched adventure fiction. Tim Burton and Tarentino about the only current directors with an out-of-the-box vision. Scorsasi is amazing but how many more years will we have him? Besides he was a product of that 70's art explosion too. Fortunately he's been able to hold on despite the Academy's continuing snubs. Even some of the good ones eroded into cookie cutter bullshit, like Speilberg. Comedy has become nothing but a conglomeration of stupid site gags. People, Will Farrell is not clever. And the few great satirsts have to deal with five-year old politicians who go "You're picking on me. Say you're sorry." Really? That's why it's call political satire. You chose to be a legislator, you knew what came with the job and besides its only a bit more sarcastic way of the public demanding you to do the job you were elected to do.
As far as modern rock? The only American old regime that stays true to their tight black jeans, eye make-up and big hair is The Crue. Jon and Richie, Sebastian and Brett have left their spandex and Adorn behind for boring flannel and blue denim. :::yawn::: Yeah, Kiss still does their thing but Gene has gotten so arrogantly, irrelevant. Even he stopped laughing at himself.
So today I put a face on the majority of my own country. This face has furrows in its brow, scowl lines at the corners of its mouth, and cold eyes. I don't know what to do to bring back you sense of mirth. You really need to get over yourself. You're not that wonderful. You're far from perfect but that's ok. You're human. You don't have all the answers but you don't seem to be open to learning any new ones. You need to recoup your free spirits and stop with all these rules. The government and the church are not responsible for you, you are. There really is only one rule...treat people the way you want to be treated. If you don't like what's on TV...shut it off. If you don't like what's on the newstand...don't buy it. If you don't want your kids exposed to crap...throw out the computer or put passwords on it. Oh and while we're at it...be a PARENT!! But in that parenting...teach your kids to laugh...not at others who are different than them but at themselves. When they face their own frailties, suddenly others are something to become the butt of a joke.
LAUGH AMERICA...IT WILL MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER!!!
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