Wednesday, May 8, 2013

Catholics and the "marriage fight"

First and foremost, let's get specific.  The "marriage" that religious people are talking about and "marriage" that governments are talking about are two completely different things.  One is a rite that takes place, usually, in a religious edifice, presided over by a clergy person.  It, in and of itself, does not require any legal documentation.  All the rituals can go on and the two people can leave the rite "married".  However, they will NOT be able to file a joint tax return, put the other on their health insurance at work, be able to make any legal claims to property if they split, etc.  THAT is the "marriage" that comes under government/legal jurisdiction.  THAT is the "marriage" that results in clergy people also becoming Justices Of The Peace so they can sign the legal document presented by the couple and allows them to say "By the power invested in me by the state/commonwealth of where ever" at that end of the ceremony.  That legal marriage doesn't have to happen in a religious building.  It can happen at City Hall and all the couple has to do is agree that all the information on the license is the truth, sign the license and have it witnessed by the JOP and a notary.

That said, let's get down to the Catholics and their fight against marriage equality.  They've been talking a lot of pure, unadulterated shit!  "Biblical marriage".  "Natural law".  Do your research.  Biblical marriage by Catholic standards takes that "do not be unequally yoked" part to its extreme.  Example?  Even since Vatican II, my parents have been living "in sin" in the eyes of The Church for over 58 years.  Why?  Because my father had the gall to not only fall in love with a Methodist but he married her in her church.  They didn't have their marriage "blessed" by a priest because the minister who married them said if they were going to do that to just go get married in a Catholic church because what Rome was saying was that what the minister did didn't "take".  My mother had no intention of converting to Catholicism or even attending the pre-Cana classes.  So my folks were real rebels.  My father was excommunicated for marrying my mom.

Today my father is still deeply in love with my mother.  It is tearing him apart to watch her fail a little more each day.  In her way she still loves him but the dementia has her just trying to remember what time or day it is. It's hard on both Dad and I to watch the woman who always remembered everyone's birthday, anniversary, and name's day now have trouble remembering where she was yesterday.  My dad tries so hard to make her happy, comfortable and cared for but he gets frustrated because she's not there to make sure the bills are paid on time or cook dinner.  He wants the girl he fell in love with back.  But the church still says she is not his wife and that I am a bastard.  How sick and twisted is that?

My paternal grandmother never had an issue with this situation.  In fact she encouraged my dad to start going to church with mom and I but he had a very high respect for her.  Irish matriarchy and all.  Plus they had literally saved each others lives from my grandfather when he was still around.  But after Granny died my dad did start going to church with Mom.  In fact he joined the bell choir, went to study groups and eventually joined the Methodist church.  They found two nice plots in local non-denominational cemetery.  They decided since Dad's family is buried in a Catholic cemetery and my mom's family is in a different one, neither in the area where we live now they'd go local and be planted side-by-side.

So dear Catholic Church, come clean.  Your bullshit about same-sex marriage being non-biblical, against natural law is just that.  You're not about love.  You're about procreating your brand of religion.  I don't think "God" or "Jesus" have any real issues with my parents.  I think "Jesus" would have gladly presided over their wedding.  I know that The Great Spirit is giving my dad strength and that his love for my mother, me and my kids is still true.

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