Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Your argument is invalid - The NOH8 trial

The past few days I have been following The Advocate's live tweets from the NOH8 trials.  Today the testimony just completely blew my mind as far as it's total lack of intelligent thought processes and conclusions.  I know, I do not have a college degree.  I took a half year of Sociology my Senior year in high school and zero Psych courses but still I know that all I kept hearing today was "1+1 = fish".

Why are churches getting involved in the politics of civil rights?  Gay "marriage" is a fight for government and legal recognition not a church ceremony.  The LGBT community wants nothing more than the same tax breaks a heterosexual couple gets for having a "marriage license" on file at the local town hall along with job protection, health benefits and legal protection of their estates for their partners and children.  There a millions of Americans who are "married" in civil ceremonies by justices of the peace.  There is no religious value at all, just the sealing of the document they just signed that gives them governmental and legal sanction of their couplehood.  Just like having an affidavit witnessed by an officer of the court.  They ask all the requisite questions and you both sign the document and the notary seals it.

No branch of the U.S. government nor any state or local agency can mandate that a church perform a religious ceremony of any kind including weddings.  They only require that clergy also be certified as Justices of the Peace so they can legally witness the marriage license. (see comment below-this is not necessarily a true fact. CT does not require JP status for clergy.  Feel free to post your state's statutes on this.  Thank you) It's very frustrating that Christians and Jews can not seem to differentiate between "marriage" and "wedding".  I'm not sure what Muslims call their coupling ritual so I apologize for not including it. 

Then to take it a step further.  Religious groups want to bring this into a "family" realm by stating that same sex marriage destroys the American family.  Really?  If a child is raised in a loving household, has parents who make sure they are safely housed and sent to school every day and living within the law, what's the issue?  How about deadbeat dads and men who have just abdicated as parents/bread winners?  From personal experience I think they do more damage to families.  And while we're casting stones, there are numerous Catholic organizations fighting gay "marriage" who are sitting back saying nothing about the pedophiles within their clergy.  Don't you think that puts a far bigger strain on a family and children if parents protect the person who is molesting their kids?  Just sayin' people.  And as a single-parent I beg the court's indulgence by asking how is my situation any stronger family unit than a same-sex pair raising kids?  Hey!  They have the advantage of two incomes and the probability of one of them being physically and emotionally available to their children more often that I do.

So lets go back to same-sex marriage having a negative affect on heterosexual marriages.  How?  Because less LGBT's will hide in a straight marriage because of the social and psychological strain of living out?  Or because they will show straight couples up with the longevity of their relationships.  They don't have to wait for a major family issue to stress their relationship because they have a huge stress-factor going in...being LGBT people.  They've already lived their lives before they were a couple with all the problems and stigma that come the fact of realizing they're not "normal".  Then to make it a non-traditional coupling.  Twice the stress.  So they tend to do very good with the bumps and bruises that come with keeping a relationship vibrant and healthy.  Many same-sex couples stay together for life and have a better track record of doing so than straights.  And if they do split that is no reason for self-righteous straights to go "Oh look.  See they are promiscuous"  Bull shit!! What about your 14-year-old slut daughter you let out of the house in a mini-skirt and tank top that has more than one condom in her purse or your spouse whose had a mistress for the past ten years?

Which brings us to the family thing.  First, I'll pick up from the last paragraph...straight does not equal good parents.  Done!  Second, straight parents can produce gay children.  In fact most LGBT kids come out of heterosexual homes.  As for same-sex couples only producing LGBT kids?  Really?  Come on.  Really?  If sexuality is genetic (which I do believe) any child of a gay or lesbian couple, has a parent of the opposite sex. Lesbians will have a sperm donor or will adopt.  Gay men will have a surrogate mother or will adopt.  The conceived children will have the genes of both its parents and their family history so even if the sperm donor or surrogate are also genetically identified as non-heterosexual that parent's parents and the member of the same-sex couple providing the sperm or egg may carry the heterosexual gene and based on historic figures, the resulting child is more apt to be bisexually or heterosexually identified than homosexually.

As far as socialization, just because a child is raised in a gay home doesn't mean they'll be gay.  More likely just more healthily tolerant.  Kids go to school.  They know there are more kids from straight households or single-parent households than from homes like theirs with two moms or two dads.  Of course with the current social climate they will be made to feel different, weird, etc. by fellow students, faculty and administration even though they shouldn't be.  As for the two moms or two dads raising their kids to be LGBT?  Trust me, not even gay parents wish that on their kids and the kids will experience it first hand before they go to school in the way that other people treat their parents.  So for me...if anything a same-sex parented family is stronger, more tolerant, and has a better grasp on how the Divine wishes this world would work.  Wanna play the "God card" religious people?  Gay/Lesbian households are living closer to your scriptures than you are because they are not teaching their kids to build walls or barriers or create labels for other people.  They're teaching them to forgive and understand and love people even in those people's ignorance. 

To the witnesses in this trial...your argument is invalid.  If run through simple tests of validity or just common sense, they don't hold water.  So just stop wasting taxpayers money.  Taxpayers?  Leave your religious crap at the door when voting for legislatures.  Providing any minority with the same freedoms you enjoy in "the land of the free" is just the right thing to do no matter what Higher Power you subscribe to.  The LGBT community is not harming you.  They are not robbing your house or burning it down.  They are not stealing your stuff.  They are not physically harming you or your children.  Validating them and their rights does not mean they're going to try to "turn" your kids.  Your children are in far more danger from pedophiles, rapists and kidnappers.  No!  Your kids are far more apt to get hit by a car or succumb to alcohol poisoning in an evening of underage drinking you sanctioned in your basement.  Your children are more susceptible to  STD's from playing at unprotected sex with a member of the opposite gender.  Your daughters are at a higher risk of becoming pregnant before they turn 18 than discovering they are lesbians.  Your sons have a higher probability of going to jail for possession of illegal drugs, dui, or causing a major accident by driving recklessly than facing that he gender-identifies as female and starts the agonizing journey of a transsexual.  Your arguments are invalid.


  1. Whew! Did this strike a nerve, much? Thank you for laying all that out!

    For what it's worth, many clergy feel misrepresented and used by a few "media slut" pastors who are the go-to commentators whenever a new development or wrinkle in this movement takes place. I'm not a stone-thrower, so just let me leave it at this: if one's congregation welcomes the diverse members of society, with the intention of journeying rather than reforming those members, it would be impossible to take on that public attitude of condemnation.

    One note: there is no government requirement, at least in Connecticut, that members of the clergy be certified as Justices of the Peace. The state government recognizes an ordained minister who has current ministerial standing as someone with the power to perform religious marriages that are also recognized by the civil authorities. We have no governmental certification for the duties of a JP, and I know I would resent it if I had to have that in order to perform my religious duties. When I sign a marriage certificate, I fill in a box called "TYPE OF CEREMONY" with the answer "RELIGIOUS".

    I got to do that for two same-gender couples, in church, in front of people and everything, last year. And God smiled. So there. :)

  2. Thank you for the JP clarification. I'll put a note in. Like to have my facts correct. And thank you so much for commenting.